Hey, look! Donald Trump lied!
First of all, here was the pr*sident’s response to the accusations of E. Jean Carroll, who claimed in a book excerpt published in New York magazine that Trump raped her in a department store dressing room in the mid-’90s:
Regarding the “story” by E. Jean Carroll, claiming she once encountered me at Bergdorf Goodman 23 years ago. I’ve never met this person in my life. She is trying to sell a new book—that should indicate her motivation. It should be sold in the fiction section.
Shame on those who make up false stories of assault to try to get publicity for themselves, or sell a book, or carry out a political agenda—like Julie Swetnick who falsely accused Justice Brett Kavanaugh. It’s just as bad for people to believe it, particularly when there is zero evidence. Worse still for a dying publication to try to prop itself up by peddling fake news—it’s an epidemic.
Ms. Carroll & New York Magazine: No pictures? No surveillance? No video? No reports? No sales attendants around?? I would like to thank Bergdorf Goodman for confirming they have no video footage of any such incident, because it never happened.
False accusations diminish the severity of real assault. All should condemn false accusations and any actual assault in the strongest possible terms.
If anyone has information that the Democratic Party is working with Ms. Carroll or New York Magazine, please notify us as soon as possible. The world should know what’s really going on. It is a disgrace and people should pay dearly for such false accusations.
And now we know his statement contains at least one lie* because …
And, yes, we know that’s him, because he’s standing next to his then-wife Ivana, and the rank absurdity of his hair is like a DNA signature.
Does that prove he actually raped her? No. But it sure doesn’t look good, does it?
*Okay, maybe he just forgot having met her. But then why not say he doesn’t recall meeting her instead of presenting it as a metaphysical certainty? Also, if it’s Donald Trump’s word against any sentient human, the human gets the benefit of the doubt.
Is Trump still singeing your sphincter? Dear F*cking Lunatic: 101 Obscenely Rude Letters to Donald Trump and its breathlessly awaited sequel Dear F*cking Moron: 101 More Letters to Donald Trump by Aldous J. Pennyfarthing are the salve you need! Reviewers have called these books “hysterically funny,” “cathartic,” and “laugh-out-loud” comic relief. And you can get them for less than the price of a cup of coffee … or a black-market Xanax … or five minutes of therapy. It’s time to heal, my friends. Buy now!
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