Trump campaign delivers the death blow: 'There has NEVER been a boat parade for Joe Biden'

Donald Trump’s reelection campaign has become a parody of itself.

Trump may have screwed up our country’s pandemic response in every way imaginable. He may be presiding over the most disastrous economy in decades, with no end in sight to the financial hemorrhaging. He may be pouring most of his energy into defending statues of treasonous slaveholders. He may, as we speak, be conducting a fascist dress rehearsal in a major American city.

But he has one thing Joe Biden will never have: BOAT PARADES, MOTHERFUCKERS!


— Jennifer Epstein (@jeneps) July 17, 2020


— Trump War Room – Text TRUMP to 88022 (@TrumpWarRoom) July 17, 2020


— Jennifer Rubin (@JRubinBlogger) July 17, 2020


— Eric Trump (@EricTrump) July 12, 2020

Hmm, is that a record for number of boats or for the stupidest thing ever to impress a fully grown human?

This is 100 percent for Donald Trump’s consumption, isn’t it? Instead of pretending to try to win the election, they’re just gonna show the crazy old man footage of pro-Trump boat parades until he collapses face-first in his Cream of Wheat and his purpling corpse is rolled out of the White House on sycamore fig logs like an Egyptian pyramid stone. (I don’t actually know how Egyptians moved pyramid blocks. Please don’t send me hate mail.)


— Eric Hananoki (@ehananoki) July 16, 2020


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Boat parades! 

You guys, Biden is fucked! There’s no coming back from a massive BOAT PARADE!

How will Democrats ever close the boat parade gap? I sure as shit don’t know, but while you think about it, maybe you can give Joe another little boost.

“This guy is a natural. Sometimes I laugh so hard I cry.” — Bette Midler on Aldous J. Pennyfarthing, via Twitter. Find out what made dear Bette break up. Dear Fcking Lunatic: 101 Obscenely Rude Letters to Donald Trump and its boffo sequels Dear Prsident A**clown: 101 More Rude Letters to Donald Trump and Dear F*cking Moron: 101 More Letters to Donald Trump by Aldous J. Pennyfarthing are now available for a song! Click those links, yo!