Trump calls into Fox & Friends to throw himself under the bus

When you have the gnocchi-heads at Fox & Friends asking skeptical questions, you know you’ve gone off the deep end.

Donald Trump appeared on his favorite show this morning to rant like an elderly man masturbating to vintage JC Penney catalogs in front of Dunkin’ Donuts. 

Trump can’t get over his pet (and, for the record, cray-cray) Crowdstrike conspiracy theory, and he let it be known in his phone call to F&F.

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TRUMP: They gave the server to Crowdstrike or whatever it’s called, which is a company owned by a very wealthy Ukrainian, and I still want to see that server. You know, the FBI has never gotten that server. That’s a big part of this whole thing. Why did they give it to a Ukrainian company?

STEVE DOOCY: Are you sure that they did that? Are you sure they gave it to Ukraine?

TRUMP: Well, that’s what the word is, and that’s what I asked actually in my phone call. … I mean, I asked it very point-blank because we’re looking for corruption. There’s tremendous corruption. … Why should we be giving hundreds of millions of dollars to countries when there’s this kind of corruption?

And as others have pointed out, this rant is both false …

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— Glenn Kessler (@GlennKesslerWP) November 22, 2019

And incriminating …

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— John Harwood (@JohnJHarwood) November 22, 2019

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The second Moscow Mitch clears this extremely guilty man in the Senate, I expect him to be on the phone again, attempting to bribe some other bemused foreign head of state into uncovering Elizabeth Warren’s secret alien birth pod.

Because that’s who this guy is. And Republicans simply don’t care. At this point, they're glorified asylum orderlies.

Does Trump make you want to delete your brain? Of course he does! But don’t do it until you’ve read Dear Fcking Lunatic: 101 Obscenely Rude Letters to Donald Trump and its breathlessly awaited sequel Dear Fcking Moron: 101 More Letters to Donald Trump by Aldous J. Pennyfarthing. Reviewers have called these books “hysterically funny,” “cathartic,” and “laugh-out-loud” diversions from our temporary hell on Earth. Don’t delay. Click those links, yo!