Trump blames Capitol siege on Portland protests, because why the f— not?

Donald Trump

So this morning, after whining about Big Tech, which is doing a “horrible” thing to our country (any time our pr*sident says anyone is doing anything to “our country,” just substitute “Trump” and then it will make perfect sense), Trump was asked about his role in what happened last Wednesday at the Capitol.

It didn’t go well at all. In other words, exactly as you’d expect.



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REPORTER: “What is your role in what happened at the Capitol? What is your personal responsibility?”

TRUMP: “So if you read my speech, and many people have done it and I’ve seen it both in the papers and in the media, on television, it’s been analyzed and people thought that what I said was totally appropriate. And if you look at what other people have said, politicians, at a high level, about the riots during the summer, the horrible riots in Portland and Seattle and various other places, that was a real problem, what they said. But they’ve analyzed my speech and my words and my final paragraph, my final sentence, and everybody to the T thought it was totally appropriate.” [Walks away]

So he makes it sound like his speech was analyzed by linguistics experts at RAND Laboratories or something, when if fact it was probably just Rudy Giuliani and some doofus at OANN.

And, of course, the real problem was the Portland and Seattle demonstrations that took place months ago. That’s why the Capitol was stormed and five people were killed. Not because of the angry speech Trump gave to the rioters an hour or so before they started breaking windows.


Let’s go with that.

Eight days. And eight crazy nights.

We’ll get through this. Right?

This guy is a natural. Sometimes I laugh so hard I cry.” — Bette Midler on Aldous J. Pennyfarthing, via Twitter. The first history of the Trump Error is complete! Goodbye, Asshat: 101 Farewell Letters to Donald Trump is hot off the presses! Along with Dear Fcking Lunatic: 101 Obscenely Rude Letters to Donald Trump, Dear Prsident A**clown: 101 More Rude Letters to Donald Trump and Dear F*cking Moron: 101 More Letters to Donald Trump, you’ll see the Trump years from a hilarious new perspective. Click those links, yo!

  • January 12, 2021