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Trump and his dunce of a son have a new Biden conspiracy theory — he's on DRUGS!

2 min read

Whenever Donald Trump sits down with Judge Jeanine Pirro, I worry they’ll collapse into a cray-cray singularity from which neither light nor rational thought can escape.

This was no exception:



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TRUMP: “There’s probably, possibly drugs involved. That’s what I hear. I mean, there’s possibly drugs. I don’t know how you can go from being so bad where you can’t even get out a sentence. [AJP: Uh, where’s the rest of this sentence?] I mean, you saw some of those debates with the large number of people on the stage. He was … I mean, I used to say, ‘How is it possible that he can even go forward?’”

“That’s what I hear.” Did you maybe hear it from Don Jr.?

Yes, this appears to be a planned talking point. Because accusing your opponent of using drugs so he can appear lucid in public is exactly what a campaign that hasn’t shit the bed and half the ottoman is bound to do.

So Donald Trump Jr. floated the same theory while, ironically, sounding like he just finished a giant mug of Taster’s Choice. And by “Taster’s Choice,” I mean cocaine, of course.

DONALD TRUMP JR.: [:1:20] “You think this guy’s gonna be there at 3 o’clock in the morning and you gotta … will he be with it? Are they giving him something so he can appear even a little bit lucid or coherent at times, for the few seconds that they put him on air, and the rest is a disaster? Is he physically not capable of being out more than once a week?”

Idiot son of guy who can’t walk down a ramp or competently drink a glass of water says what?

Oh, and this isn’t the first time Trump Sr. has insinuated that Biden is on drugs.

So this is what they’re doing now. This is a desperate, desperate Hail Mary.

We will swat it down.

Good gourd, you won’t believe this. Two of Aldous J. Pennyfarthing’s books are now available for $1.99 apiece! Lasso copies of Dear Fcking Moron: 101 More Rude Letters to Donald Trump and Dear Prsident A**clown: 101 Letters to Donald Trump for this comically low price (in two days the price goes back to normal). And, as always, you can get your copy of Dear F*cking Lunatic and preorder the final installment, Goodbye, Asshat. 

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