Last updated on February 1, 2021
Trumpies put their feet in their mouths on the regular (or should, anyway; I suppose doing so actually requires some measure of self-reflection and shame), but they’ve rarely promised to literally eat their own shoes.
But one did. And he’s backing away from his promise. Because why would they change now?
Sure, it’s not quite the same as violating your oath to preserve, protect, and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies foreign and undomesticated …
… but anyone who’s ever been on a grade school playground knows that you simply don’t renege. It’s just gauche, man.
Maybe someone needs to tell Harlan Hill that.
A Trump campaign advisor who promised to eat his shoe if Joe Biden won the election is now refusing to do so, falsely claiming that former President Donald Trump won instead.
Harlan Hill, a political consultant and commentator, made the bold promise to a reporter for The Atlantic at Steve Bannon’s election-night party.
Hill said he was “one hundred percent” certain of Trump’s victory. When asked what he would do if Trump lost, he said: “I’ll eat my shoe. We’ll do it in a livestream.”
After Biden’s inauguration, Mediaite followed up on Hill’s plans. Hill told Mediaite that “Trump won.”
Hey, I wouldn’t want to eat my shoe either—even though it’s vegan and couldn’t possibly be as tasteless or nutritionally void as a Trump steak. Then again, I didn’t make any empty promises—nor would I.
And I sure as shit wouldn’t lean on “Trump actually won the election, you fucking snowflake” to weasel out of my sacred vow.
But then when have Trumpies ever had any honor?
Eat your shoe, Harlan.
Just eat it.
This guy is a natural. Sometimes I laugh so hard I cry.” — Bette Midler on author Aldous J. Pennyfarthing, via Twitter. Trump is gone, but the righteous mocking goes on forever. Thanks to Goodbye, Asshat: 101 Farewell Letters to Donald Trump, Dear Fcking Lunatic: 101 Obscenely Rude Letters to Donald Trump, Dear Prsident A**clown and Dear F*cking Moron, you can purge the Trump years from your soul sans the existential dread. Only laughs from here on out. Click those links!
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