People have now discovered that the Obama administration left the Trump administration a detailed pandemic response playbook, so there’s only one thing to do: Release the lying monkeys! Lie, my pretties! Lie!

KAYLEIGH MCENANY: “I just wanted to outline our pandemic preparedness. The Obama-Biden plan that has been referenced was insufficient, wasn’t going to work. So what our administration did under the leadership of President Trump was do an entire 28-team pandemic preparedness report. Beyond that we did a whole exercise on pandemic preparedness in August of last year and had an entire after-action report put together. In other words the Obama-Biden paper packet was superseded by a President Trump-style pandemic preparedness response plan.”

TRUMP: “Which was much better, which was much more complete, and which was a lot tougher. We were given very little when we came in to this administration and they’ve done a fantastic job, and I think we’re going to have a vaccine by the end of the year.”

1) We almost certainly will not have a vaccine by the end of the year. 

2) Oh, you had a great pandemic response plan ready to go? I’ll let those 86,000 dead Americans know tout de suite.

3) How did you know the Obama plan wasn’t going to work? You didn’t follow it. You almost certainly didn’t read it. Cute idea to put your administration’s “plan” in bulky binders while Obama’s “paper packet” was on printer paper and presumably paper-clipped together. That may have worked in high school. Not so much in the real world. (I bet the Trump plan had really wide margins and unnecessarily large font sizes, too. I know all the tricks, but they stopped working in college.)

4) Was that August exercise the Crimson Contagion simulation that y’all ignored?

The Department of Health and Human Services concludes its “Crimson Contagion” simulation in August. The exercise simulated a U.S. response to a fictitious respiratory virus that began in China and quickly spread around the world. The result of the exercise, contained in an internal draft report in October 2019 and marked “Draft Do Not Distribute,” includes a section titled “resources.” The section foregrounds the lack of PPE preparedness in the event of a global pandemic and problems in the supply chain for medical equipment including ventilators and other ancillary medical supplies.

So you knew about the problems with PPE in August of last year and did … nothing? Great job!

Try again, assholes. You ignored this pandemic, downplayed the dangers, and the result is 86,000 dead Americans. You can try to paper over that fact with propaganda, but most of us aren’t buying it.

Is Trump still chafing your arse-cheeks? Then Dear Fcking Lunatic: 101 Obscenely Rude Letters to Donald Trump and its boffo sequels Dear Prsident A**clown: 101 More Rude Letters to Donald Trump and Dear F*cking Moron: 101 More Letters to Donald Trump by Aldous J. Pennyfarthing are the pick-me-up you need! Reviewers have called these books “hysterically funny,” “cathartic,” and “laugh-out-loud” comic relief. And they’re way, way cheaper than therapy.

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