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Top Iranian adviser says Iran will respond militarily to death of Soleimani, calls this a 'war'

2 min read

If Donald Trump worked at, say, a pest control company, his incompetence might be funny.

You’d see him wobbling around your backyard with a beehive stuck on his head before falling down an uncapped well, and hilarity would naturally ensue. Because that’s just funny. How could it not be?

But when he pokes a hornet’s nest on the world stage? Not so fucking amusing.

And now, Iran is not just promising a (completely predictable) response, it’s promising a response that will “for sure be military.”

In other words, we’re now at war, whether we want to be or not.


In an exclusive interview with CNN in Tehran, the adviser — Maj. Gen. Hossein Dehghan — made the most specific and direct threat yet by a senior Iranian official following the killing of Gen. Qasem Soleimani in a US drone strike in Baghdad. Dehghan said Iran would retaliate directly against US “military sites.”
And make no mistake: The response will come from Iran, not its proxies.
Dehghan is a former defense minister and is now the main military adviser to Ayatollah Ali Khamenei. He told CNN that reprisals would come from Iran itself, not its allied militia in the region.
And remember, Barack Obama had put us on a path toward de-escalating tensions with Iran. Now? Fugghedaboudit.
“It was America that has started the war. Therefore, they should accept appropriate reactions to their actions,” he said.
“The only thing that can end this period of war is for the Americans to receive a blow that is equal to the blow they have inflicted. Afterward they should not seek a new cycle.”
And what might Iran be planning? No one knows, but the Department of Homeland Security has some ideas — and whatever it is, it could affect you and me:

So thanks, Donald Trump. Your buffoonery is not just an amusing sidelight anymore. We all have beehives stuck on our heads now.

Yo! Pennyfarthing’s Trump-trashing series is now a trilogy! Grab your copy of Dear Pr*sident A**clown: 101 More Rude Letters to Donald Trump by Aldous J. Pennyfarthing. And, of course, Dear F*cking Lunatic: 101 Obscenely Rude Letters to Donald Trump and Dear F*cking Moron: 101 More Rude Letters to Donald Trump are still selling like lukewarm-cakes. Reviewers have called these books “hysterically funny,” “cathartic,” and “laugh-out-loud” soul-soothers.

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