Apparently it’s all over but the shouting. Fittingly enough, the final capitulation came not from The Pampers President himself, but instead from Ditch Mitch “No show votes” McConnell, who stated that the Senate would move quickly to vote on the compromise border security bill, and to say “Gee whiz, I shore hope the Purzident signs the gosh darn thing!” or something like that.

I for one am not going to take a dance a victory Irish jig on Trump’s humiliating wall grave. Hell, I’m not that mature. Instead, I’m planning on chugging a 12 pack of Bud Light to generate the maximum piss volume. But as I watched all of these GOP losers in shiny suits walking around with Basset Hound looks on their faces, a realization hit me. This whole political Waterloo over his stupid vanity border wall is worse than they realize.

The Three Horsemen of the Shitpocalypse, Limbaugh, Hannity, and Coulter seem clueless, although two of them are already cutting their losses. The Oxycontin Kid is already saying that the fact that the alleged author of The Art Of The Squeal managed to negotiate himself from $25 billion from the Democrats in return for permanence in DACA to a measly $1.375 billion for new fencing is an “embarrassment” for the President, but sticks the GOP congress with the tab, for not fighting harder. And Flat Top is sputtering and blustering about how any Republican that dares to vote for this “garbage compromise bill” is going to have to explain his capitulation to their constituents. Only Coultergeist continues to do her best banshee impersonation, moaning hollowly about how the President “talks a good game, but doesn’t have the guts to fight for the wall.” Oh yeah, and she’ll get his little dog, too!

All of these slobs, from McConnell to Hannity, from Meadows to Coulter, are so busy crying in their beer about their humiliating defeat about the damn wall, that they’re failing to see that there is a bigger picture involved here, and that the wall is just one piece of a larger mosaic. It just happens to be the piece that holds the rest of the mural together.

You should all know my favorite Catholic ditty by now, “In order to keep your faith intact, ensure it stays unsullied by fact.” Trump the con man is himself nothing more or less than an elaborate con. He is an illusion, a cheap trick, except that this time, when the magician pulls his hand out of the hat, there isn’t going to be a rabbit in it.

Trump’s entire “mystique” was built on one central conceit, that he was a winner! The brash, loud mouth, finger pointing mogul whose favorite pastime was snarling “You’re FIRED!” to cringing underlings, although the real Donald Trump couldn’t fire up a Weber grill. The owner of a multi billion dollar real estate empire, who proudly proclaimed himself the “king of debt,” knowing full well that his audience and supporters were too dim to realize that what that really meant was that it was all somebody elses money! 

Trump wasn’t alone in perpetuating this scam on the dim and inattentive. Hannity, Coulter, Limbaugh, Ingraham, they all played Trump up like he was the greatest boon to man since the discovery of the polio vaccine. They touted his business acumen, his non  existent wealth, his brilliancfe in all things mortal. trump was the prodigal son, returning back to the old neighborhood in his Rolls to swig a Dom Perignon with his old pals at O’Toole’s. And the suckers ate it up like a kitten with an open can of tuna.

Remember one thing. Trump didn’t mobilize some mysterious fantasy army of new voters for the GOP in 2016, what he and the chittering bats in the right wing media mobilized was an already existing army of downtrodden, disinterested GOP voters who had stopped showing up to vote. If Trump had called forth this horde of new Republicans, he wouldn’t have lost the popular vote by 3 million.

Those voters didn’t come out because they agreed with Trump on any issues, or because he had brilliant and compelling ideas, they came out because of the show, the fanciful aura of Trump as winner that Trump and the howler monkeys of right wing media crafted. And with this group, image really is everything.

An image that the turncoat talkies are now busy demolishing. When the wheels started coming off of the wall klown kar, all of them jumped Trump’s shit about being such a wimp in fighting for the wall, and they said it directly to their listeners, to put the pressure on him to not make them look bad. The shutdown was crippling, Trump supporters got nicked badly in the barber chair, and came out of it without a sou of funding for the wall to show for it. Hannity, Coulter et al tried to hold it together by insisting on another go around, but now that the spare tire has flown out of the trunk too, they’re desperately tying to do damage control by blaming congress. But that nagging seed of doubt is now starting to sprout, watered by his own media shills, ”This is a winner?!?”

You know who realizes that the gig is up? I’ll tell you who, Mitch McConnell, that’s who. McConnell got his fingers burned to the elbows on the shutdown stove, and he’s had enough. McConnell facilitated that there would be no “show votes” in the Senate on shutdown resolution bills that His Lowness wouldn’t sign. But now? Not only is McConnell going to fast track the vote on the compromise bill in the Senate when it gets there, he’s said he’ll even call the Democrats “Green New Deal” bill to the floor for a test vote if it reaches the Senate. There is an election coming up in 20 months, and McConnell has 22 caucus members on the block, including himself. His best hope now is to vote a=on every damn bill that Pelosi’s House sends to him, letting them fail in his majority, and claim that the Republicans are willing to pass legislation, but the Democrats keep sending him shitty bills.

Trump’s political Hindenburg on the wall has just placed him at a much greater risk of attracting a GOP primary challenger, and it might be much more dangerous than just s “protest” challenge. Trump’s support is rapidly approaching his most ardent base of “core” voters. Trump is not a lame duck, he’s a wounded duck, and there are a whole lot of traditional conservatives out there who would like their party back. If somebody with some name recognition and chops decides to make a serious run at him, he will not lack for ammunition to bombard The $1 Store Caligula with. And if that opponent gets any kind of traction at all, it places the Limbaugh-Hannity cabal in the hurt locker. Do they stick a Brutus shiv in Orange Julius’ back and support his challenger, or do they risk looking like idiots for continuing to back somebody that they’ve been slamming like a screen door?

Right now the sad sack Republicans in congress and on the airwaves are laying around in dark corners, licking their wounds over this whole wall-shutdown fiasco. But what they’re missing while they’re darkly muttering to themselves about how they’ll “get them next time,” is the fact that those wounds may end up looking like paper cuts compared to the freddie Krueger glove that’s about to be swung at them. And it couldn’t happen to a nicer bunch.

Copies of President Evil, and the sequel, President Evil II, A Clodwork Orange are still sitting around collecting dust, and Amazon is starting to send me nasty e-mails. And what better time to get reacquainted with the roller coaster that was the 2016 election cycle than before the release of the final volume of the trilogy, President Evil III, All the Presidents Fen.

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  • February 13, 2019