This had to happen, because I have not laughed nearly enough about Trump’s feckless fraud fucknuttery quite yet.

They found fraud! Near Philly! A fake vote for … Donald Trump!



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Here’s the text of the tweet for the eyeball-challenged among us.

District Attorney Jack Stollsteimer today announced the filing of criminal charges against Bruce Bartman, 70, of Marple Township for illegally voting in place of of his deceased mother in the November 3, 2020 General Election.

“Respecting the integrity of our election process is the sacred duty of every American,” said Stollsteimer. “Our investigation has determined that Mr. Bartman intentionally and willfully violated our election laws by registering two deceased individuals as voters and completed his criminal acts by requesting and returning an Absentee Ballot for one of those individuals, his own mother, who died in 2008.”

Voter records show that on August 20, 2020 Mr. Bartman used the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania’s online Voter Registration portal to register both his deceased mother, Elizabeth Bartman, and his deceased mother-in-law, Elizabeth Weihman, who died in 2019. Mr. Bartman is a registered Republican and he illegally registered both deceased individuals as Republican voters.

Mr. Bartman subsequently sent an online request for an Absentee Ballot for his deceased mother, which was received by the Delaware Country Bureau of Elections on October 14, 2020. The Bureau of Elections sent an Absentee Ballot to the deceased Mrs. Bartman on October 14, 2020. The  Bureau of Elections sent the Absentee Ballot to the deceased Mrs. Bartman  on October 17th. On October 28th the Bureau of Elections received and recorded the Absentee Ballot for the deceased Mrs. Bartman and the vote it contained was counted in the tally for the November 3, 2020 election.

Mr. Bartman has admitted that he is the person who registered hid deceased relatives as voters on August 20th and subsequently requested, filled out, and sent in the Absentee Ballot for his deceased mother, with the intention for the vote on that ballot to be counted in the vote totals for the 2020 General Election. Mr. Bartman explained that he cast a vote in the name of his deceased mother to reelect President Donald J. Trump.

See? This is why voter fraud is so rare … because you only add one vote to your candidate’s total, and then you get caught and prosecuted. Not really worth it.

So Donald Trump isn’t completely off-base after all! So nice to see Joe Biden increase his lead in Pennsylvania.

Maybe if he waits another couple of months he can increase it by a couple of votes more.

This guy is a natural. Sometimes I laugh so hard I cry.” — Bette Midler on Aldous J. Pennyfarthing, via Twitter. The first history of the Trump Error is complete! Goodbye, Asshat: 101 Farewell Letters to Donald Trump is hot off the presses! Along with Dear Fcking Lunatic: 101 Obscenely Rude Letters to Donald Trump, Dear Prsident A**clown: 101 More Rude Letters to Donald Trump and Dear F*cking Moron: 101 More Letters to Donald Trump, you’ll see the Trump years from a hilarious new perspective. Click those links, yo!

  • December 21, 2020