What if a seditious wannabe dictator with a patchy yam scalp and a head the size of an Igloo cooler threw a party and nobody came?
We may find out yet.
For the nontweeterers: “Anthony Scaramucci says he was invited to President Trump's farewell ceremony Wednesday, which he takes as a sign the White House is desperate to bulk up the guest list. “Trust me, that had to be a mass email if one of them got sent to me,” he tells @InsideEdition.
You may recall those heady days in the summer of 2017 when Anthony Scaramucci’s White House tenure died faster than a Sea-Monkey. He hastened his exit after accusing former White House adviser Steve Bannon of trying to suck his own cock — which was ridiculous, by the way. No one has ever attempted to suck Steven Bannon’s cock, much less succeeded. I can just about guarantee it.
But that’s not the point. Scaramucci has been extremely critical of Trump since leaving his administration, and Trump has been less than complimentary of The Mooch.
Here’s the text of a representative Trump tweet from August 2020. (The original tweet is no longer available; imagine that.)
.@Scaramucci, who just made a fool of himself as he got taken apart by @SteveHiltonx, only lasted 11 days in his favorite of all time Administration, before being fired for, again, making a fool of himself. Anthony is a loser who begged to come back. I said “No Thanks”.
So, yeah, this has to be a big mistake, right?
Anthony Scaramucci didn’t leave the White House on the best of terms. So the fact that the former communications director got an invitation to Trump’s military sendoff at Andrews Air Force Base, Scaramucci says, is a sign that “they’re looking for people” to attend.
“Trust me, that had to be a mass email if one of them got sent to me,” he told Inside Edition.
“The president wants a big send off with lots of flair,” ABC News senior congressional correspondent Mary Bruce told Inside Edition. “We've heard that he wants to be surrounded by uniformed military at Joint Base Andrews. There'll be a military band. He wants a red carpet. We're even heard that he may be flanked by troops as he boards Air Force One for the final time. And there may even be an Air Force fighter jet flyover. So Trump — going out of Washington in Trump style.”
Yeah, and I want a Nobel Prize in Sitting Around on My Bulbous Ass Eating Nachos, but we can’t get everything we want, can we?
The White House seems to be desperate for a big crowd at the event, sending out this invitation: “All guests must arrive between 6:00 AM and 7:15 AM. You may RSVP up to five guests!”
Hey, Mooch! Invite me! We can do ‘shrooms and smoke a big spliff before we go! It’ll be nuts, man!
Of course, this nightmare half-decade started with Trump giving a speech to a motley assortment of supporters that included paid actors, so I guess we’ve gone full circle.
Now I almost want to watch this shitshow.
Nah. Come to think of it, I’ll have far better things to do.
This guy is a natural. Sometimes I laugh so hard I cry.” — Bette Midler on Aldous J. Pennyfarthing, via Twitter. Goodbye, Asshat: 101 Farewell Letters to Donald Trump is hot off the presses! Along with Dear Fcking Lunatic: 101 Obscenely Rude Letters to Donald Trump, Dear Prsident A**clown: 101 More Rude Letters to Donald Trump and Dear F*cking Moron: 101 More Letters to Donald Trump, you’ll see the Trump years from a hilarious new perspective. Click those links!