I used to have a favorite pet phrase when I was raising my kids. They’d do something goofy,and I’d tell friends, “You buy ‘em shoes, you dress ‘em up nice, you give ‘em breakfast, you send ‘em out the door, and wadda they do? They eat the covers off of the frigging books! What can you say?” 

I think that right about now, Donald Trump would get that little axiom better than just about anyone else. He’s given his kids every advantage fair and unfair, that a plotting despot wanna be can devise. Trump almost didn’t hire John Bolton because he absolutely hated his mustache, but he lets Diaper Donnie Redux wander out in public with a beard that, every cop looks at him and says to himself, “Probable cause is his middle name.” And after all of that, the little ingrate bastard turns around and shivs the old man in the back.

So, daddy’s widdle man is going to testify again in front of the Senate Judiciary committee again, huh? Ain’t that a pisser? Hair Furor is frantically sending signals out from the bunker to hold the line, fall where you stand, “take one for the team,” flip double barrel birds to every congressional document request and subpoena, and his own idiot offspring throws him under the bus.

Now granted, Pater’s mini-me was in a sticky position. When your story to congress basically mirrors Michael Cohen’s, and then Cohen actually goes to prison for admitting that the story he told that matched yours was full of shit, it ain’t good. Add to that the fact that not being a cabinet official, or even an administration employee means that baby Donnie can’t hide behind “executive privilege” is a real bummer man. But the gemstone is that Trump Jr is a private citizen, so he can be held in contempt of congress with some teeth to it, and if they take him to civil court, where he’s held in contempt, and fines or even contempt confinement is assessed by a judge, even one of Daddums patent pardons won’t save him, since those only cover crimes, and civil contempt ain’t a crime.

But the real problem for Trump is that this blows a mile wide hole in the concept of a “unified front.” There are a lot of people out there who have bumped up against his Lowness in one capacity or another who are now private citizens, that the House committees would like to pin down like a butterfly collection. As far as I know, Felix Sater is still on the roster for the House Intel committee to come on in for a chat about the Trump Tower Moscow deal. Think the Judiciary committee may want another word or two with Hope HIcks about the drafting of that patently false cover story about the Trump Tower meeting, and what she meant when she was talking about putting documents i”in a safe where nobody will ever find them” in Don McGahn’s office? And then there’s the subject of Don McGahn himself, the poor little tyke. And Corey Lewandowski took some very entertaining notes in the Oval Office I hear, something about being a go-between?

How seriously are Mazars, Deutsche Bank, and Capitol One supposed to go to the mattresses to avoid turning over documentation to the committees when the president’s own kid squeaks like a cat toy the first time he’s stepped on? Trump’s insurance company is already turning over documents to the New York state Attorney Generals office in their probe, How tall do you think that they are going to stand before the man in the face of congressional subpoenas, harassment lawsuit from the Trump cabal or not?

From where I’m sitting, Donnie Jr’s fold-spindle-and-mutilate at the hands of that Senate subpoena is going to open the floodgates. It only takes one panicked investor to start a selloff on Wall Street, and it only takes one chickenshbit Trump turning tail and running to start a rout. These people all have lawyers, most of them far better than the motley pisspot crew Trump has cobbled together, and they represent their clients, and not Trump. And if it’s good enough for the president’s own son, then it’ll be just as good for them.

Copies of President Evil, and the sequel, President Evil II, A Clodwork Orange are still sitting around collecting dust, and Amazon is starting to send me nasty e-mails. And what better time to get reacquainted with the roller coaster that was the 2016 election cycle than before the release of the final volume of the trilogy, President Evil III, All the Presidents Fen.

Cross posted on Politizoom.com

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  • May 15, 2019