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The John Dowd voicemail. In it's original context.

The release of the John Dowd voicemail audio yesterday was a perfect example of one of the most glaring omissions in the Robert Mueller investigation. Namely, not getting the Orange Julius seated in a chair across the table, answering questions. Forget the input of Trump’s lawyers in answering Mueller’s questions. A written document is exactly that, words on a piece of paper. Content, but devoid of context.

This is especially true in the case of the John Dowd voicemail to Michael Flynn’s lawyer. The transcript of the call was in itself informative, showing Dowd trying to dance a verbal flamenco through a legal minefield. But when you’re actually able to listen to the vocemail it is possible to pick up the context, in the pauses, breathing, and inflections of the voice. Below is the actual Dowd voicemail, with the proper context added;

Hey, Rob, uhm, this is John again (Pick UP dammit! I know you’re there!). Uh, maybe, I-I-I-‘m-I’m (What’s the word?) sympathetic (About ¼ teaspoon); I understand your situation (Sucks to be you), but let me see if I can’t … state it in … starker terms (You dumb shit), If you have … and it wouldn’t surprise me if you’ve gone on to make a deal with, and, uh, work with the government (You chickenshit!), uh … I understand that you can’t join the joint defense (Nudge-nudge, wink-wink); so that’s one thing. If, on the other hand (You craven coward!), we have, there’s information that … implicates the President (RU-S-S-I-A- you dumbass!), then we’ve got a national security issue (Since Trump and the nation are now one and the same), or maybe a national security issue, I don’t know (You tell ME jerkweed, that’s what this call is about!) … some issue, we got to-we got to deal with, not only for the President, but for the country (We gotta get our spin out there FIRST!). So … uh … you know, then-then, you know (Jesus! Do I actually have to spell this all out?), we need some kind of heads up (It takes forever to get Giuliani made up). Um, just for the sake of … protecting all our interests (Mebbe Trump in an orange jumpsuit?), if we can, without you having to give up any … confidential information (You fucking boy scout pain-in-the-ass!). So, uhm, and if it’s the former (Please,Dios!), then, you know, remember what we’ve always said about the President and his feelings toward Flynn (What do you say when you bump somebody in the street? “PARDON me.”) and, that still remains, but (We know where Flynn lives)— Well, in any event, uhm, let me know (The Boss is kicking my ass here!), and, uh, I appreciate your listening and taking the time. Thanks, Pal.(Was that clear enough for you, I hope?)”

You see what I mean? See how actually hearing the story in John Dowd’s own voice just seems to make the story come alive? The old saying is that it’s always better to get information “straight from the horse’s mouth,” but in this instance, it’s more like getting it straight from the horse’s ass.

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Copies of President Evil, and the sequel, President Evil II, A Clodwork Orange are still sitting around collecting dust, and Amazon is starting to send me nasty e-mails. And what better time to get reacquainted with the roller coaster that was the 2016 election cycle than before the release of the final volume of the trilogy, President Evil III, All the Presidents Fen.

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