The Dow is off more than 1,000 points from this time last year

It’s important to remember that the stock market is not the economy.

That said, for two straight years Donald Trump suggested that all he has to do is wave his magic mushroom and the Dow and other stock indices will dutifully respond with record-breaking results.

But ever since Tariff Man — whose secret identity, Gnawed Haggis Face, somehow doesn’t know shit about tariffs — started throwing sand in the gears of our economy, the stock market has begun to slide like a rumpled pervert’s hand on the small of his daughter Ivanka’s back.

In fact, far from spiraling upward, the Dow is actually lower now than it was a year ago.

On December 15, 2017, a Friday, the Dow closed at 24,651.

Today, after dropping 507 points, it closed at 23,592, or more than 1,000 points lower than it was at this time last year.

There are likely several reasons for this.

For one, the Keynesian effects of the tax scam, the vast majority of which went to corporations (which predictably went on a stock-buyback spree) and wealthy Americans (who likely plowed their tax savings into securities) are wearing off.

Also, the Fed has been forced to raise interest rates — partly because of the stimulative impact of the tax scam — signaling an end to the cheap-money policies of the past.

Finally, those tariffs, which no economist worth his or her salt thinks are a good idea, are likely dragging down the global and domestic economies, with more ill effects still to come.

Not to mention the destabilizing effect of having a barely sentient marmalade stain as our president.

Unsurprisingly, Trump hasn’t tweeted about the stock market in more than a month.

And at this rate, it could be years before he tweets about it again.


Yo! Dear F*cking Lunatic: 101 Obscenely Rude Letters to Donald Trump by Aldous J. Pennyfarthing is now available at Amazon! Buy there (or at one of the other fine online retailers carrying it), or be square.


But wait, there’s more! The Fierce, Fabulous (and Mostly Fictional) Adventures of Mike Ponce, America’s First Gay Vice President is also available at Amazon! You can get two great political humor ebooks for less than the price of the coffee you’ll be spitting out on your tablet when you read them!