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The Dow is almost certain to end the year in the red now

2 min read

Trump promised a red wave this year, and it looks like he got it. Rivers of red ink are flooding Wall Street.

The Dow closed at 22,445.37 today, ending a terrible week, month, and year for stocks — and, frankly, it’s hard to see a bottom.

Unless you’re talking about this, of course:


See? This is the kind of trenchant analysis you don’t get at Bloomberg.

Anyway, Christmas is coming, the ass is getting fat, it’s time to put your two cents in your old man’s MAGA hat.

And if you have one or more conservative relatives, you’ll almost certainly hear some version of this over the holidays: The economy was in a recession/depression under the Kenyan Muslim socialist usurper, and Trump has singlehandedly rescued it by dint of his scintillating business genius. Except they won’t say “scintillating”? They’ll belch Keystone Light fumes shortly after expectorating the first two syllables of their first attempt at a sentence.

The reality? Our country is basically the Trump Taj Mahal, but the old men and women playing the slots until 4 in the morning don't know it yet.

And all you’ll need to slap down the chorus of gibberish coming at you from across the holiday roast beast is two simple facts.

1. Job creation has actually slowed under Trump.

2. The stock market performed much better during Obama’s first two years than during Trump’s.

Want some easy-to-grasp visual proof?

Go here, and see for yourself whose stock market has done better.

While the stock market has gone up under Trump, it went up three times as much during the same period under Obama (i.e., the first 23 months):


Overall, Obama presided over a 148 percent increase in the Dow during his eight years in office. Trump has been in office just short of two years, and if the Dow continues on its current pace (a very big if), it will mean a roughly 60 percent return for investors — assuming Trump serves two full terms and the Earth isn’t a flaming bag of poo on God’s doorstep by then.

So Merry Christmas — and, please, don’t take any shit from the MAGIdiots.

Now let’s go wassailing along.


Yo! Dear F*cking Lunatic: 101 Obscenely Rude Letters to Donald Trump by Aldous J. Pennyfarthing is now available at Amazon! Buy there (or at one of the other fine online retailers carrying it), or be square.


But wait, there’s more! The Fierce, Fabulous (and Mostly Fictional) Adventures of Mike Ponce, America’s First Gay Vice President is also available at Amazon! You can get two great political humor ebooks for less than the price of the coffee you’ll be spitting out on your tablet when you read them!

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