Last Spring, I went to Washington DC to help AOC write the Green New Deal. /s/
I had a free afternoon so I went to the Kenilworth Lotus Gardens in the northeast corner of town. It was a misty and muddy February so I had the place to myself. Vultures glided overhead. Deer crashed through the bushes.
I enjoyed the barren grounds because I could peruse the bare bones of the layout. There were dozens of ponds and lakes, all interconnected with pipes that moved water from pond to pond. This pond for lilies, that pond for lotuses. The multi-acre site drained into a River. I was the only one there.
I was astonished at the waist-high windrows of desiccated lotus flower heads that the wind had piled up on pond’s edge. I picked up one the flower heads, and hmm, one of its round hard olive-sized seeds rolled out into my palm. Well, I put it onto my pocket. I picked up another seed head, and then another seed rolled out. And another. Who would miss a few seeds? There were thousands there.
But as I left, with a dozen seeds in my pocket, my face burned with the guilt of the former Boy Scout who had shoplifted. Dang. I reversed course and walked into the Park Service office. A teenage boy in a brown jacket was sweeping. He looked up.
I saw a clear plastic box on the counter with a slot for contributions. Good, I thought, make a contribution and call it good. I used to be what you’d call a high roller and I carried a lot of what my dad called walking around money. So I wasn’t surprised to see a $100 bill in my billfold. Thing was, it was the only bill.
I started cussing loudly, but only in my mind. I forced myself to pluck out the solitary $100 and shove it through the contributions slot.
“Wow, mister, thanks,” the clerk enthused, “Here, these are on the house.” He pushed a little envelope across the counter to me. It was a packet of lotus seeds, they were on sale here, 4 for $5. I put them in my other pocket, trying not to mentally calculate the costs.
I already had a half dozen, 20-year-old lotus seeds sprouting at home, also formerly of Kenilworth Gardens, generously given to me by Attack Gardener, a kindred spirit.
Every one of her seeds had germinated and were growing vigorously, despite their age.
When I returned home, I added the new seeds to the mix. None of the stolen seeds germinated because of their toxic karma. But the “official,” 4 for $5 seeds all sprouted nicely.
I moved all of the active lotus sprouts from vases into aquariums as they grew rapidly. When the aquariums clouded with algae, I bought algae-eating snails, who promptly had babies, which meant I had to scramble to provide enough algae for all of the snails.
Thus ends Part 1. Next episode: The Greens vs the Snailers.
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