Donald Trump

I am not going to rehash the insipid intellectual wasteland that was the Trump State Of The Union speech last night. Since I quit drinking a couple of years ago, I find that I no longer have the stomach to suffer through his shit more than once. But there was something that jumped out at me repeatedly as I watched the alleged speech, and I didn’t hear anybody last night on MSNBC or CNN that seemed to pick up on it.

Other than Trump’s infantile attempt to show up Speaker Pelosi by barging into the chamber unannounced, before she could introduce him, Trump’s SOTU speech last night could just as well have been held in an airplane hanger in Mississippi. It was pretty the same old red meat, and it was pointed out that Trump may as well have had only one teleprompter, since he looked almost exclusively to the left as he spoke, towards the herd of polled Herefords in $2,000 suits, who lowed and clanked their cowbells on command throughout the night. Just about the only time he looked to the right was the hilarious moment when the Democratic women stole his thunder. I swear, the first time they did it, you could see the back of his neck getting red.

But I saw repeatedly, as the cameras crawled across the GOP caucus, cheering and clapping like a bunch of 2nd graders reacting to the classroom loudspeaker when the principal announces a snow day tomorrow, that there was one very lonely pachyderm with a newly sore ass who realized that he was the biggest loser in the room.

That poor, docile, domesticated elephant was of course Mitch McConnell. Several times when the cameras showing cheering, feverish disciples of the Great Pumpkin paying their tithe, there was McConnell, hands at his sides, looking like his mother had just trotted out the castor oil. There were a few times when he didn’t even get to his feet, simply staying seated and staring morosely at the floor.

Yertl the Turtle has every reason to look like his goldfish just died, because Glorious Bleater just put him in the hurt locker, and slammed the door. Trump laid down a number of markers last night, and just like the same bozo who bankrupted 3 casinos, Trump forgot to check the odds. Trump called for a massive infrastructure bill, lower healthcare costs, lower prescription drug prices, and paid family leave nationwide, and worst of all, he did it with exactly no substance, guardrails, or controls.

This is the kiss of death for McConnell. When Trump announced these initiatives, the Democrats stood and cheered just like the Republicans. And for a damn good reason too. Those are all ideas that are very popular with Democrats, and by putting no meat on the bones, Trump gave Pelosi and her caucus carte blanche. McConnell may be a craven, vain, power hungry toady, but he knows what comes next. Legislation begins in the House. Pelosi and her crew are going to give Trump every one of those things, The House is going to pass the most progressive version of every one of those items that they can, loaded up with more goodies than Santa’s sleigh, and then smile like timber wolves into the camera and say, “The House is so pleased to have been able to pass a strong, positive bill dealing with the high cost of prescription drugs, especially for senior citizens, just as the President asked us to. Now we call on Majority Leader McConnell to swiftly pass the bill through the Senate, so the President can sign it, and bring relief to the American people.”

McConnell is seriously boned. Sideways. There is no out for him. There is no way, especially with Senators running for reelection, that he can get these liberal bills passed, he’d have an armed revolt on his hands. Meanwhile, he has Pelosi shooting arrows at him from below, and Trump dumping rocks on his head from above. The other option is no better. When it becomes clear just how progressive these bills are, Coultergeist, Flat Top, and the Oxycontin Kid start screaming in Trump’s ear about how the base will throw him into a pot of boiling oil if he signs that thing, and now McConnell has to look like King Shit for not even bringing a popular bill up for a vote.

In his speech last night, Trump threw the ball to the backstop, and you can bet your ass he’s going to blame McConnell for letting the winning run cross the plate. It was amazing to watch last night. When Trump’s blatherfest was over, he walked along the front row to get to the aisle to leave the chamber. As he turned left into the aisle, Senate Majority Mitch McConnell was the second one in from the aisle in the second row on the left hand side. McConnell was on his feet, but he was staring like a laser up at Mike Pence on the dais, refusing to even acknowledge Trump’s presence. Trump, for his part, kept his back firmly turned to McConnell, working the right side of the aisle until he was a row or two past McConnell. God, I love it when they eat their young.

Copies of President Evil, and the sequel, President Evil II, A Clodwork Orange are still sitting around collecting dust, and Amazon is starting to send me nasty e-mails. And what better time to get reacquainted with the roller coaster that was the 2016 election cycle than before the release of the final volume of the trilogy, President Evil III, All the Presidents Fen.

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  • February 6, 2019