Donald Trump gave what he described as an “important” speech today. Actually, it was a bunch of hoary old lies he wanted to regurgitate into the yawning mouths of his deluded, baby-bird followers — all of whom are afraid of being kicked out of the nest to face a world where the nasty Joe Biden is determined to bring the plaster walking boot of infrastructure investment and health care down on the necks of a proud nation.
I watched the whole thing because it sounded marginally more appealing than skinning the hide off my lower torso with a Play-Doh scissors (not sure why those are the only two choices, but then when has anything made sense lately?), and I can tell you with metaphysical certitude that you’ll never see a more disgraceful performance from behind the presidential seal in your lifetime, unless Trump shoots a snuff film in the White House briefing room in the next 50 days … which I’m not ruling out.
There’s no real point in describing, transcribing, or summarizing the speech, because it was all bullshit.
But something good came of it nonetheless.
Here’s where it started:
And, boy, did people ever respond.
— The Lincoln Project (@ProjectLincoln) December 2, 2020
— Shiv Malik (@shivmalik) December 2, 2020
— GuillaumeTC (@GuillaumeTC) December 2, 2020
— Internal_Visions (@InternalVisions) December 2, 2020
— Georgia Flipped 🌻 (@myrlene67) December 2, 2020
— Daily Cartoons (@DaylieKartunes) December 2, 2020
— KEM ✊🏿✊🏾✊🏽✊🏻🌈✌🏻 (@mooupmitchell) December 2, 2020
And my favorite …
did i do it right i think i need lessons for the photo shop pic.twitter.com/mBz2R94HYk
— Charlotte's Webcam (@DayDayLavine) December 2, 2020
I’m not much of a Photoshop guy, but I know some of you are. Do your worst, wags!
This guy is a natural. Sometimes I laugh so hard I cry.” — Bette Midler on Aldous J. Pennyfarthing, via Twitter. The first history of the Trump Error is complete! Goodbye, Asshat: 101 Farewell Letters to Donald Trump is hot off the presses! Along with Dear Fcking Lunatic: 101 Obscenely Rude Letters to Donald Trump, Dear Prsident A**clown: 101 More Rude Letters to Donald Trump and Dear F*cking Moron: 101 More Letters to Donald Trump, you’ll see the Trump years from a hilarious new perspective. Click those links, yo!