Last updated on February 15, 2021
Where did Democrats ever get the idea that Donald Trump was looking to incite violence on January 6? It’s absurd! I mean, just ask Ted Cruz.
Really, you should ask him.
GLENN BECK: “They’re already starting to give out the home addresses of people that were delegates.”
TED CRUZ: “You know, Glenn, I’m very troubled by this. Donald Trump now has a consistent pattern of inciting violence—of Donald and his henchmen pushing for violence.”
Of course, this was a while ago—after Donald Trump had implied Cruz’s wife was ugly and his dad had helped assassinate JFK, but notably before Ted had all his mail forwarded to Donald Trump’s rectum.
That said, the same folks who are now fainting dead away over the brutal calumny that Trump incited violence on and before January 6 know exactly who this guy is. They’ve always known. In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if some of them are still scared shitless of Trump’s troglodytic horde and are cowering in the halls of Congress as we speak hoping to avoid the MAGA marauders.
Of course, Ted Cruz will say pretty much anything, so long as it’s self-serving, false, and awful. If it doesn’t pass that simple three-part test, Ted ain’t interested.
Oh, Ted. You’ll never be president, and the entire cast of The Princess Bride hates you.
If I were you, I’d quit while I’m still a head of skunk cabbage*. Or ahead. Or whatever.
You’re a smart guy. You’ll figure it out.
*This is a real thing. No, really.
”This guy is a natural. Sometimes I laugh so hard I cry.” — BETTE MIDLER on author ALDOUS J. PENNYFARTHING, via Twitter. Need a thorough Trump cleanse? Thanks to Goodbye, Asshat: 101 Farewell Letters to Donald Trump, Dear Fcking Lunatic, Dear Prsident A**clown and Dear F*cking Moron, you can purge the Trump years from your soul sans the existential dread. Only laughs from here on out. Click those links, yo!
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