Thanks to GOP tax scam, Amazon will get a $129 million refund on $0 tax bill

Donald Trump

So what was your tax refund this year? 

Donald Trump loves to tweet-bomb Amazon, mainly because its owner, Jeff Bezos, also owns his bête noir The Washington Post, but he sure has given the company a helping hand.

Thanks to Trump’s 2017 tax giveaway, also known as the 2017 Tax Cuts for Obscenely Wealthy Plutocrats and Jobs They’ll Probably Just Outsource Anyway Act, Amazon will get a bigger refund than you will … after paying no federal taxes.


Those wondering how many zeros Amazon, which is valued at nearly $800 billion, has to pay in federal taxes might be surprised to learn that its check to the IRS will read exactly $0.00.

According to a report published by the Institute on Taxation and Economic (ITEP) policy Wednesday, the e-tail/retail/tech/entertainment/everything giant won’t have to pay a cent in federal taxes for the second year in a row.

But even though Trump previously blasted Amazon for its limited state taxes—a single presidential tweet caused the company’s shares to fall by 9%ITEP notes that its non-existent federal tax payment is a result of the Trump Administration’s corporation-friendly tax cuts. The think tank writes that the 2017 Tax Cuts and Jobs Act not only decreased corporate tax rates from 35% to 21%, but it also didn’t close “a slew of tax loopholes that allow profitable companies to routinely avoid paying federal and state income taxes on almost half of their profits.”

Here’s an idea: Authorize the IRS to collect dick pics of executives from every Fortune 500 company, and then we can just blackmail them out of their money. I’m guessing we’d pay off the national debt in about 30 days and have money left over for two Space Forces.

So if you’re one of the millions of Americans who isn’t getting a federal tax refund this year, at least you can rest easy in the knowledge that someone is. And, hey, he could be your neighbor. If you’re also fabulously wealthy, anyway.


Yo! Dear F*cking Lunatic: 101 Obscenely Rude Letters to Donald Trump by Aldous J. Pennyfarthing is now available at Amazon! Buy there (or at one of the other fine online retailers carrying it), or be square.


But wait, there’s more! The Fierce, Fabulous (and Mostly Fictional) Adventures of Mike Ponce, America’s First Gay Vice President is also available at Amazon! You can get two great political humor ebooks for less than the price of the coffee you’ll be spitting out on your tablet when you read them!

  • February 15, 2019