Finally! A voice for white people in the United States! I’ve felt like a second-class citizen ever since … okay, I’ve never felt that way. Nevertheless, Marjorie Taylor Greene and Paul Gosar, who might be able to cobble together a fully functioning brain between them if it doesn’t have to be 100% human and they’re given fair and reasonable access to a monkey slaughterhouse, are speaking up for ME—a straight white male with the world’s largest Bud Light tchotchke and Jon McNaughton art print collection.
They’ve started something called the—wait, this can’t be right, can it? What the fuck year is this? Let’s see. People are running around acting like vaccines are witchcraft and infectious diseases can be cured with prayer, sunshine, and whatever horse-food supplement Donald Trump saw on the Demon Sperm Doctor’s Friendster page this morning, and now some people think an “Anglo-Saxon” congressional caucus must be an appropriate way to address perceived but totally not-real slights. Fuck, it’s not 2020 again, is it?
Anyway, like most of us, California Rep. Ted Lieu, an Asian-American U.S. Air Force veteran who had previously told Greene and Gosar to “take your nativist crap and shove it,” has some important questions about their so-called “America First” Caucus.
“She’s not planning on launching it at this time,” (Greene’s) spokesperson said, adding that it was “in the early planning stages” but that the publication of the document by Punchbowl “[blew] it all up.”
In contrast to Donald Trump’s shambolic bearing, appearance, and comportment, Aldous J. Pennyfarthing is a natty hail-fellow-well-met and a gentleman.