Oleaginous theocrat Mike Pence is lyin’ for Jesus again. If he’s ever going to see Christ’s kingdom on Earth (the closest we have now is the Holy Land Experience, which is pretty much what you’d get if a horde of first century Judean Zealots found a time machine and used it to conquer Orlando), Pence needs to lie his arse off until Donald John Trump’s purpling corpse is hauled out of the West Wing on whatever diesel-swilling behemoth John Deere is forced to custom manufacture for the occasion.
Yes, the man who clearly took the vice president job in the vain hope that Trump would be gone from the White House before the Obama administration’s leftover fruit flies suddenly can’t recall that time he was allegedly put on standby while Trump was sent to Walter Reed to get the goof juice suctioned off his brain.
So either he was put standby (as was alleged in Michael Schmidt’s upcoming book Donald Trump v. the United States: Inside the Struggle To Stop A President) or he wasn’t. Either way, it’s a safe bet that he’d remember what happened. Because being one
heartbeat obstreperous brain fart away from the presidency is not the kind of thing a person forgets.
But Pence did. Or he claims he did, anyway. Gee, which do you think is more likely?
Vice President Pence said Tuesday that he doesn’t “recall” being told to be on “standby” when President Trump made an unannounced visit to Walter Reed Medical Center last year.
“I don’t recall being told to be on standby,” Pence told Fox News’s Bret Baier when pressed on an account included in a new book from New York Times correspondent Michael Schmidt. “I was informed that the president had a doctor’s appointment.”
“I’ve got to tell you, part of this job is you’re always on standby. You’re vice president of the United States,” Pence continued. “The American people can be confident that this president is in remarkably good health, and every single day I see that energy in high relief.”
Oh, Mike …
When Jesus returns, I sure hope he’s proud of the Donald Trump death cult that’s gradually replaced His church. I mean, they do everything in His name, so I’m certain He will be.
Oh, and Mike? Your gamble backfired. You ain’t gonna be president anytime soon, but you’ll remain a sad joke for all eternity.
Is Trump still chafing your arse-cheeks? Then Dear Fcking Lunatic: 101 Obscenely Rude Letters to Donald Trump and its boffo sequels Dear Prsident A**clown: 101 More Rude Letters to Donald Trump and Dear F*cking Moron: 101 More Letters to Donald Trump by Aldous J. Pennyfarthing are the pick-me-up you need! Reviewers have called these books “hysterically funny,” and none other than Bette Midler said AJP is “a natural. Sometimes I laugh so hard I cry.”