For my money, this is still the greatest paragraph ever written in the English — or likely any other — language.

And, as you’ve probably already guessed, it’s from Stormy Daniels’ interview with InTouch:

But he was a little distracted by the TV. “The strangest thing about that night — this was the best thing ever. You could see the television from the little dining room table and he was watching ‘Shark Week’ and he was watching a special about the U.S.S. something and it sank and it was like the worst shark attack in history,” she said. “He is obsessed with sharks. Terrified of sharks. He was like, ‘I donate to all these charities and I would never donate to any charity that helps sharks. I hope all the sharks die.’ He was like riveted. He was like obsessed. It’s so strange, I know.”

He’s also gone after sharks on Twitter because — well, he’s not going to risk confronting them in the ocean. Sort of like how he dealt with Rex Tillerson and John Bolton.

And now, submitted for your Sunday morning larfs, the very stable genius just retweeted an account that’s solely dedicated to making fun of Trump’s shark obsession:



I can’t tell if this means he needs more Adderall or less. I’d say it’s enough on its own to invoke the 25th Amendment, though.

Is Trump still chafing your arse-cheeks? Then Dear F*cking Lunatic: 101 Obscenely Rude Letters to Donald Trump and its breathlessly awaited sequel Dear F*cking Moron: 101 More Letters to Donald Trump by Aldous J. Pennyfarthing are the pick-me-up you need! Reviewers have called these books “hysterically funny,” “cathartic,” and “laugh-out-loud” comic relief. And they’re way, way cheaper than therapy.

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