Granted, “Donald Trump lies” is breaking news in the same way that “Drunk Packers fan still confused about Higgs boson*” is breaking news, but this particular lie is pretty memorable (or should be, anyway) and egregious:


Of course, we pretty much knew this was a lie all along, but now we have fresh evidence.

Documents released today show that Trump was up to his ocher arschloch in Stormy Daniels hush money plans, as were former Trump “fixer” Michael Cohen and former White House aide Hope Hicks.


“I have learned that in the days following the Access Hollywood video, Cohen exchanged a series of calls, text messages and emails with Keith Davidson, who was then Clifford’s attorney, David Pecker and Dylan Howard of American Media Inc. (“AMI”), the publisher of the National Enquirer, Trump, and Hope Hicks, who was then press secretary for Trump’s presidential campaign,” an FBI agent investigating the matter wrote in the released documents.

“Based on the timing of these calls, and the content of the text messages and emails, I believe that at least some of these communications concerned the need to prevent Clifford from going public, particularly in the wake of the Access Hollywood story,” the agent said.

The unsealed documents say Hicks called Cohen at 7:20 p.m. on Oct. 8, 2016 — the first time she had called him in weeks — and that Trump joined the call seconds later. The conversation lasted four minutes. Hicks and Cohen spoke privately after Trump left the call and, after that, Cohen phoned Pecker. Moments after that conversation ended, Cohen received a phone call from Howard, the chief content officer of American Media. After that call, Cohen rang Hicks back, ended that call, and then took another from Pecker. At 8:03 p.m., according to the unsealed court documents, Cohen called Trump. They spoke for eight minutes.

Trump and Cohen reportedly spoke again on Oct. 26, the day Cohen wired $130,000 to the account that was used to pay off Daniels. 

So, yeah, another big fat lie. Go figure.

For his part, Cohen told NBC, “As I stated in my open testimony, I and members of the Trump Organization were directed by Mr. Trump to handle the Stormy Daniels matter, including making the hush-money payment.”

Meanwhile, Cohen’s attorney Lanny Davis challenged Trump’s attorney Jay Sekulow to answer two simple questions: “Is it not a fact that SDNY prosecutors found President Trump to have 'directly and coordinated' the commission of a felony involving campaign finance federal laws? Is it not also a fact that upon his loss of purported immunity as president of the United States, he is subject to arrest, incarceration and a trial?”

I’m no lawyer, but I’d say those are both facts, yes.

As for the second fact, I can only say, “The sooner, the better.”

*Hey, I’m a Packers fan, too. So I can say this.

Is Trump still singeing your sphincter? Dear F*cking Lunatic: 101 Obscenely Rude Letters to Donald Trump and its breathlessly awaited sequel Dear F*cking Moron: 101 More Letters to Donald Trump by Aldous J. Pennyfarthing are the salve you need! Reviewers have called these books “hysterically funny,” “cathartic,” and “laugh-out-loud” comic relief. And you can get them for less than the price of a cup of coffee … or a black-market Xanax … or five minutes of therapy. It’s time to heal, my friends. Buy now!

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