SCOTUS hopefuls Ted Cruz and Tom Cotton can't see the hypocrisy in seating a judge in election year

What are these assholes even talking about? Now, I knew they’d be pricks about this regardless, but isn’t a little convenient that they’re both on Donald Trump’s SCOTUS nominee short list?

First, Wolfman Jack’s colicky vestigial twin:

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CRUZ: “Now, on the question of precedent. Look, we had this fight at the end of the Barack Obama term, and at the time all the Democrats were saying ‘confirm the nominee, confirm the nominee,’ and all the Republicans were saying we’re not going to confirm the nominee. And so we’ve got a situation, you just played a quote from me in 2016. We can play that game all day long where you can play a quote from Chuck Schumer saying you’ve got to confirm the nominee.”

STEPHANOPOULOS: “I don’t disagree with that. I don’t disagree with that. That’s what I’m just trying to get you to concede. This is really about who has the votes and who has the power at any given time, right?”

CRUZ: “So no, actually it isn’t. If you look at history, if you actually look at history, if you actually look at what the precedent is, this has happened 29 times. Twenty-nine times there has been a vacancy in a presidential election year. Now presidents have made nominations all 29 times. That’s what presidents do. If there’s a vacancy they make a nomination. What has the Senate done? And there’s a big difference in the Senate with whether the Senate is of the same party of the president or a different party of the president.”

I predicted this yesterday on a tweet thread with a couple of friends. Of course they’re going to start accusing the Democrats of hypocrisy for actually trying to hold Mitch McConnell, Lindsey Graham, and Ted Cruz to their word. Of course. Ted Cruz is 180 pounds of sweaty lies and suet wrapped in back bacon and sophistry. But then to say, well, the difference is we have the Senate now and they don’t is merely to restate what Stephanopoulos just said — this is about who has the power at any given time, principles be damned. 

And now, Cotton-Eye Joke:

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— Aaron Rupar (@atrupar) September 20, 2020

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CHRIS WALLACE: “You really don’t think there is any hypocrisy at all in saying we need to give voters … because, I mean you can parse the 2014 election, the 2018 election any way you want, but you stated a pretty firm principle in 2016 about Merrick Garland: ‘It’s wrong to deny voters a chance to weigh in.’ You don’t see any hypocrisy between that position then and this position now?”

COTTON: “Chris, the Senate majority is performing our constitutional duty and fulfilling the mandate that the voters gave us, in 2016 and especially in 2018.”

Okay, at least Cruz added some garnish to his steaming offal ‘n’ bullshit platter. Is this the kind of brilliant legal analysis we can expect from Cotton if he’s appointed to the Supreme Court?

Not to mention, more voters backed Hillary Clinton in 2016 and Republican senators represent millions fewer Americans than Democratic senators do.

If I were Chuck Schumer I’d be tempted to make his “everything is on the table” threats a lot more lurid. If Trump seats a justice, not only will we pack the court, we’ll make you assholes throw up. If you noisome pricks do this, the SCOTUS bench will look like an MTV Movie Awards after-party. Judge Reinhold will get a seat, for fuck’s sake.

Just try us, you meretricious wads of yak scat.

“This guy is a natural. Sometimes I laugh so hard I cry.” — Bette Midler on Aldous J. Pennyfarthing, via Twitter. Find out what made dear Bette break up. Dear Fcking Lunatic: 101 Obscenely Rude Letters to Donald Trump and its boffo sequels Dear Prsident A**clown: 101 More Rude Letters to Donald Trump and Dear F*cking Moron: 101 More Letters to Donald Trump by Aldous J. Pennyfarthing are now available for a song! Click those links, yo!