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Round up your prayer circles, folks: Pence put in charge of coronavirus response

2 min read

You might also want to put on your fanciest snake-handlin’ pants, because the guy who doesn’t believe in natural selection (i.e., the mechanism behind the mutation of viruses and bacteria) is now in charge of our country’s response to the global COVID-19 outbreak.

Yay!

The Washington Post:

Trump announced at a news conference that Vice President Pence will take over the White House’s coronavirus task force.
The president said the risk to Americans is “very low” and that people are being screened coming into the country from infected areas.
“We have quarantined those infected and those at risk,” he said.
Trump said he’ll leave it up to Congress to decide how much money to allocate in emergency funding, that he’s willing “to spend whatever is appropriate” and “be satisfied with whatever” amount.

Trump also said the U.S. is “rapidly developing a vaccine,” even though Anthony Fauci, director of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases, has said a COVID-19 vaccine is at least a year away.

Don’t y’all feel better now?

Then again, what Trump is really worried about is inoculating himself against a stock market collapse.

Good luck with that, Virus Man.

Pence, though? Really? That's precisely what I want to see during a potential pandemic — a guy in charge who wants nothing more than to see everything go FUBAR so Jesus can return, posthaste.

I’d honestly be more reassured if this bird were handling our government’s coronavirus response:

Enjoy the apocalypse, everyone! I know Mike Pence (thinks he) will.

Is Trump still chafing your arse-cheeks? Then Dear Fcking Lunatic: 101 Obscenely Rude Letters to Donald Trump and its boffo sequels Dear Prsident A**clown: 101 More Rude Letters to Donald Trump and Dear F*cking Moron: 101 More Letters to Donald Trump by Aldous J. Pennyfarthing are the pick-me-up you need! Reviewers have called these books “hysterically funny,” “cathartic,” and “laugh-out-loud” comic relief. And they’re way, way cheaper than therapy.

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