Yeah, Donald Trump also said we’d never see him again if he lost to Joe Biden. We all know how that turned out. After all, Trump is never really gone—as long we remember him. We see his eternal light and essence in every irregular, half-priced Grocery Outlet yam. Every time a bully farts on a weaker kid’s head, he is there—in spirit—gently guiding the bully’s sphincter. You see him in the wide, wonderstruck eyes of every tender moppet who stumbles off the Tilt-A-Whirl vomiting circus peanuts and orange Fanta on his sister’s brand-new Chucks.

But the fucker never actually left, so there’s no need to rely on any of those reminders.

This seems to be a pattern. Conservatives love to talk shit and set ultimatums, but when their “sincerely” held beliefs run up against their “careers,” they somehow find the moral wiggle room to show up for work.

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