I’d like to think I’m as patriotic as the next guy—so long as the next guy isn’t a Republican. I mean, given their ongoing deification of an insurrectionist who was reportedly “delighted” about the trashing of the U.S. Capitol and the near extrajudicial killing of his own vice president, Republicans can barely call themselves Americans anymore, can they?

Elected officials swear an oath to uphold the Constitution, not a conman. But you could have fooled me. At this point, I’m not sure what Donald Trump could do to lose the support of rank-and-file Republicans, other than seizing every gun in the country and using the scrap metal to erect a giant statue of Osama bin Laden teabagging Ronald Reagan.

Even then, the Borg hive would surely find a way to adjust—and would do so relatively quickly.

So now that the GOP has willingly transformed itself into a bemused horde of glorified Diet Coke gofers, they’re doubling down on the “patriotic” distractions.

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