The sinister derp-state campaign to pass Donald Trump off as a real president and/or human being continues. Today, it was Secretary of State Mike Pompeo’s turn.

Speaking with Face the Nation’s Margaret Brennan, Pompeo risibly claimed that Trump would do what normal presidents, politicians, and people do if offered election assistance from a foreign entity — even though his past comments and actions 100 percent belie that.

Politico:

“Listen to this very closely,” Pompeo said. “The president made very clear he is going to do the right thing. I have enormous confidence. I've watched him do it.”

Pompeo added: “I have watched him do the right thing every time we have had an important national security decision to be made.”

Did he, though? Because I seem to remember Trump explicitly stating that he wouldn’t do the right thing. This was … let me check the national archives … uh, last week.

And can you now pass off any nonsense as true simply by prefacing it with “listen to this very closely”? I guess that’s where we are in this country. “Listen to this very closely — a have a third nipple that dispenses fat-free vegan rainbow yogurt thrice a fortnight. It’s true, it’s true. Believe me.”

And then there was this bit:

Brennan asked Pompeo about foreign election help in the light of a recent New York Times report revealing U.S. efforts to infiltrate deep into Russia's cyber infrastructure on an unprecedented scale. Pompeo, citing his past as a former CIA director, refused to comment on the report, but did say that the U.S. government was deeply concerned about Russian attempts to influence U.S. elections.

The Times reported that Trump was not briefed in detail on the program out of fear the president would leak information to Russian officials as he did in 2017.

Yes, our pr*sident is so eager to do the right thing he can’t be trusted with sensitive information about Russia. So we have a mole in the White House, everyone knows we have a mole in the White House, everyone knows who the mole is, the mole isn’t particularly careful about hiding his mole-ishness, and yet we somehow can’t get rid of him. It’s as if the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse showed up for Thanksgiving dinner and the only thing we could think to do was pass them the sweet potato casserole with marshmallows whenever they asked for it.

Pompeo should think more about being secretary of state and less about babysitting Donald Trump and trying to start a war with Iran.

Then again, you’d have to be the biggest moron on the planet to start a war with Iran — which clearly explains why Pompeo is protecting Trump.

Is Trump still singeing your sphincter? Dear F*cking Lunatic: 101 Obscenely Rude Letters to Donald Trump and its breathlessly awaited sequel Dear F*cking Moron: 101 More Letters to Donald Trump by Aldous J. Pennyfarthing are the salve you need! Reviewers have called these books “hysterically funny,” “cathartic,” and “laugh-out-loud” comic relief. And you can get them for less than the price of a cup of coffee … or a black-market Xanax … or five minutes of therapy. It’s time to heal, my friends. Buy now!

  • June 16, 2019