Police chief to Trump: 'If you don’t have something constructive to say, keep your mouth shut'

Like an 8-year-old boy whose parents allowed him to watch Dirty Harry movies before he was ready to fully process them, Donald Trump thinks quashing protests — peaceful or otherwise —with military-style force is the best way to keep the peace.

Unlike other commentators, I truly believe Trump is a Christian — but only in the sense that he likely sees a constructive role for crucifixions. Turn the other cheek? Sure, right after I tear-gas these innocent bystanders and shoot a few pacifists with rubber bullets.

Of course, Donald Trump thinks he knows more than everyone about everything. If you’re an expert in your field, well, fuck you. Donald Trump hasn’t written a dissertation or even completed the maze on the back of his Denny’s kids’ menu, but he knows more than you do by dint of his Donald Trumpness. 

Among the things Donald Trump knows more about than any human alive are crowd control and policing. It’s all about being “tough” and “dominating,” you see. And that, friends, will immediately put an end to 400 years of race-based brutality in this country. So easy. How is it no one ever thought of it before?

Well, not everyone is buying that. CNN’s Christiane Amanpour interviewed Houston police chief Art Acevedo yesterday, and he had some blunt words for our reality show president:

AMANPOUR: “I want to ask you — not to if you don’t want to comment on the president of the United States — but is the right direction for police today in this environment to go out and dominate and to show that they’re, quote-unquote, not weak? What should the police be doing now to calm this terrible situation?”

ACEVEDO: “Let me just say this to the president of the United States on behalf of the police chiefs in this country: Please, if you don’t have something constructive to say, keep your mouth shut, because you’re putting men and women in their early 20s at risk. It’s not about dominating, it’s about winning hearts and minds. And let’s be clear, we do not want people to confuse kindness with weakness, but we don’t want ignorance to ruin what we’ve got here in Houston. And speaking for my colleagues across the country, where their officers are being injured, community members are being injured — if you don’t have something to say, like Forrest Gump, then don’t say it, because that’s the basic tenets of leadership and we need leadership now more than ever. And it hurts me to no end, because whether we vote for someone or we don’t vote for someone, it’s still our president, but it’s time to be presidential and not try to be like you’re on The Apprentice. This is not Hollywood, this is real life, and real lives are at risk. And I ask the American people to please join with the police, stand together, let’s shift this to where it needs to be, to the voting booth. Pay attention to the hearts of the people that we elect, and the reason that this stuff happens is because too many people right now in this country that are throwing … bricks and damaging property never bothered to vote. So you have a choice: Lift up your voice, be heard in the voting booth, and continue to march peacefully, so the focus remains on bad policing, criminal policing — and let’s be real honest, this is not just about policing, it’s about society and the disproportionality of the things going on in our country, from eduction to health to food to everything that we all as human beings hold near and dear.”

Straight fire. 

And, yes, voting is how we get ourselves out of this disgraceful era in U.S. history.

But after that, we’ll have a lot of work to do to heal the wounds of the last four — and 400 — years.

“This guy is a natural. Sometimes I laugh so hard I cry.” — Bette Midler on Aldous J. Pennyfarthing, via Twitter. Find out what made dear Bette break up. Dear Fcking Lunatic: 101 Obscenely Rude Letters to Donald Trump and its boffo sequels Dear Prsident A**clown: 101 More Rude Letters to Donald Trump and Dear F*cking Moron: 101 More Letters to Donald Trump by Aldous J. Pennyfarthing are now available for a song! Click those links, yo!