Please stop telling 'jokes' on Twitter, Mike Huckabee. I'm begging you

I believe the correct response to this tweet is “delete your account.” Or maybe “delete my eyes, please.”

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Thanks for making me imagine that, Mike Huckabee. It would have been far kinder to bore through my visual cortex with an ice auger and ram a VHS copy of The Human Centipede into the gaping hole in my head.

Now every single word in your tweet is ruined for me. Russia, horses, shirts, excitement, women — the lot.

You are as bad at Twitter as Donald Trump is at being president. And that’s saying something.

Also, feel free to stay there. It suits you. Maybe you’ll become the American Yakov Smirnoff.

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  • August 12, 2019