Peter Navarro, the Trump administration trade adviser whom Jared Kushner found on (the same place I’ve been vainly searching for a one-bedroom tauntaun carcass to hide in for the next four years in case Trump somehow wins again) wants y’all to stop politicizing the, erm, China virus, folks!

This morning, he was on Fox & Friends, a reliable bubble of unreality where cray-cray, incompetent people can say anything they want, so long as it’s wrong and awful. 

Here’s how this particular tragedy unfolded:

STEVE DOOCY: “Some who are suggesting, you know, the president just wants to make sure that he has an October surprise, so before the election he can say, ‘Look, we have a vaccine that works. I delivered a vaccine. It’s coming. Hang on. Reelect me.’”

NAVARRO: “Let’s not, look. I think we’re all tired of this politicization of the China virus.”

Um … that’s … well … crazy. Peter Navarro is either as egregious a liar as the rest of them or has the self-awareness of a baboon fetus. 

I’d surmise it’s a little from column A and a little from column B.

And, of course, Navarro — because he wants to leave politics behind us and focus squarely on public health — took another gratuitous shot at Dr. Anthony Fauci. Brian Kilmeade, who’s best known for trying to toast a marshmallow with both a plastic spoon and his bare hands, asked Navarro about the unhinged USA Today op-ed he wrote in an attempt to undermine Fauci.

BRIAN KILMEADE: “Peter, do you regret writing the editorial criticizing Dr. Fauci?”

NAVARRO: [Laughs] “You know, the only thing I regret is Dr. Fauci’s pitch the other day, opening day. I felt bad for him. But I always look forward, and we’re all part of the team, and he actually tells people to wear the masks, and my job is to get them made.”

KILMEADE: “Right, have you spoken to him since?”

NAVARRO: “I have not.”

DOOCY: “What would you like to say to him?”

NAVARRO: “Let’s fight this China virus and beat it together with the president.”


How long before Navarro, Trump, and Pence shove Fauci into his locker and hang him up by his underwear?

We’re in great hands, folks. Just you wait. This virus will magically go away eventually. Possibly with the heat death of the universe … but in the end, you see, Trump will be right.

“This guy is a natural. Sometimes I laugh so hard I cry.” — Bette Midler on Aldous J. Pennyfarthing, via Twitter. Find out what made dear Bette break up. Dear Fcking Lunatic: 101 Obscenely Rude Letters to Donald Trump and its boffo sequels Dear Prsident A**clown: 101 More Rude Letters to Donald Trump and Dear F*cking Moron: 101 More Letters to Donald Trump by Aldous J. Pennyfarthing are now available for a song! Click those links, yo!

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