Forgive my fit of pique. Another salvo in the Dr. Seuss Wars comes just as I’d finished training my Seuss-sniffing German shepherds to find, identify, and eliminate all 12 extant copies of McElligot’s Pool. Meanwhile, my stormtroopers are conducting a thorough sweep of Little Free Libraries across the nation.
Horton is about to hear more than just a motherfuckin’ Who, people! What’s this? Bartholomew and the Ooblek? What the fuck is an ooblek? Sounds like a Secret Service code name for Ted Cruz. Better call in an airstrike just to be on the safe side.
War is hell, man, and I’ve already seen some things you just wouldn’t believe. Like the latest piece of legislation from GOP Rep. John Joyce, who’s introduced a new bill to … do something or other.