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Paranoid Trump is convinced John Bolton shivved him over Ukraine

2 min read

And, you know, he’s probably right. I mean, John Bolton is what you’d get if the demon from Child’s Play had possessed Orville Redenbacher instead. That caramel corn-looking motherfucker is evil to the core.

The Daily Beast:

In the course of casual conversations with advisers and friends, President Trump has privately raised suspicions that a spiteful John Bolton, his notoriously hawkish former national security adviser, could be one of the sources behind the flood of leaks against him, three people familiar with the comments said. At one point, one of those sources recalled, Trump guessed that Bolton was behind one of the anonymous accounts that listed the former national security adviser as one of the top officials most disturbed by the Ukraine-related efforts of Trump and Rudy Giuliani, the president’s personal attorney who remains at the center of activities that spurred the impeachment inquiry.

“[Trump] was clearly implying [it, saying] something to the effect of, ‘Oh, gee, I wonder who the source on that could be,’” this source said, referring to the president’s speculation. Bolton, for his part, told The Daily Beast last month that allegations that he was a leaker in Trump’s midst are “flatly incorrect.”

But even if Bolton isn’t the leaker, we’re likely to get a glimpse into the heart of dorkiness eventually:

The former national security adviser—who departed the administration last month on awfulmutually bitter terms—is working on a book about his time serving Trump, and has “a lot to dish,” one knowledgeable source noted.

Jebus. Who isn’t going to write a memoir about their time in the Trump White House? You won’t be able to fit all those books on the little cart they’ll be wheeling around in Trump’s cell block.

I assume Bolton has a lot of things to say. He’s barking mad, of course — but the enemy of my enemy is, well, still a sociopathic lunatic. That said, he could help take down Trump. And Trump himself lit this fuse. So in that sense, well, it’s kind of delicious.

Is Trump still chafing your arse-cheeks? Then Dear Fcking Lunatic: 101 Obscenely Rude Letters to Donald Trump and its breathlessly awaited sequel Dear Fcking Moron: 101 More Letters to Donald Trump by Aldous J. Pennyfarthing are the pick-me-up you need! Reviewers have called these books “hysterically funny,” “cathartic,” and “laugh-out-loud” comic relief. And they’re way, way cheaper than therapy.

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