Sometimes, it takes The Onion to put it into words

Vessel For Male Sexual Gratification Very Sad Today

NEW HAVEN, CT—Noting its slumping posture, slack expression, and overall downcast appearance, sources confirmed Wednesday that a vessel for male sexual gratification was very sad today. “It definitely appears to be upset,” said sources, adding that the object that exists solely for men’s physical pleasure was presently sitting unmoving with a distant, empty stare. “It doesn’t look happy. What’s wrong with it? I don’t like the way it’s ignoring me.” At press time, sources had decided to go over to the sexual apparatus and tell it to smile.

Shortly after I got to work today, a coworker kept talking to me about the case (yes, even here in Iceland the Kavanaugh hearings are  being widely covered).  I had to duck out in the middle of the conversation as quickly as I could, down the hall to a side entrance and take five minutes to recompose myself before walking back to my desk.

It was not the only time.

Wherever you are, whatever you’re going through, know that it’s shared by people around the world today.

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