As he prepares to ride off into the sunset on a screeching, incontinent llama, Donald Trump is wasting no time in abusing his power even more than he already has.

While he still hasn’t given up on turning the U.S. into a hereditary monarchy that swears allegiance to a damp sack of clown pubes instead of the Constitution, he’s hedging his bets by doling out choice assignments to pro-Trump nitwits.

The Washington Post:

Trump announced a slate of new presidential appointments Tuesday that include a spot on the highly regarded J. William Fulbright Foreign Scholarship Board for loyal aide Hope Hicks and a seat on the prestigious John F. Kennedy Center for the Performing Arts board of trustees to staunch defender Pam Bondi.

…

Among the many receiving these assignments are former acting director of national intelligence Richard Grenell to the U.S. Holocaust Memorial Council, and Stephanie Grisham, former White House press secretary and first lady Melania Trump’s chief of staff, to the National Board for Education Sciences.

Last week, Trump named Andrew Giuliani, son of personal attorney Rudolph W. Giuliani, to the Holocaust Memorial Council; Charlie Kirk, right-wing activist and founder of a national conservative students organization, to the Trump-formed 1776 Commission intended to promote “patriotic education”; and David Legates, a climate change skeptic, to a committee of scientists who award the National Medal of Science.

Jesus Christ, why doesn’t he just give a local Arby’s toilet an upper decker like a normal person? It would be just as disgraceful and a whole lot less damaging.

Pam Bondi? You mean the woman who accepted a bribe donation from Trump’s charity personal slush fund before deciding to punt with respect to the very, very fake Trump University? That Pam Bondi? 

And Andrew Giuliani, whose time would be better spent chasing his father around in a safari Jeep with a mounted harpoon?

And it’s so heartening to know that a right-wing kook will be there to promote “patriotic” education like we had in the old days before millions of us discovered that Christopher Columbus was basically Jason Voorhees in jauntier legwear.

But, hey, if Trump isn’t being corrupt, he basically ceases to exist.

So if, the next time you travel to Washington, D.C., Gary Busey saunters up to you and flashes that bloodcurdling smile, don’t worry. He’s probably your White House tour guide.

This guy is a natural. Sometimes I laugh so hard I cry.” — Bette Midler on Aldous J. Pennyfarthing, via Twitter. The first history of the Trump Error is complete! Goodbye, Asshat: 101 Farewell Letters to Donald Trump is hot off the presses! Along with Dear Fcking Lunatic: 101 Obscenely Rude Letters to Donald Trump, Dear Prsident A**clown: 101 More Rude Letters to Donald Trump and Dear F*cking Moron: 101 More Letters to Donald Trump, you’ll see the Trump years from a hilarious new perspective. Click those links, yo!