What does it say about Republicans that the two biggest assholes in the multiverse were their No. 1 and No. 2 choice for president in 2016? Of course, as with the infinite regression of turtles in Hindu cosmology, it’s assholes all the way down for the GOP.

Ted Cruz, the GOP’s designated auxiliary asshole, was at it again on the Senate floor Saturday. Perhaps he woke up on the wrong side of bed … because a murdered corpse was hogging the covers all night. (I’m basing this assumption on nothing, of course, much like Cruz does in the following clip. To be fair, I can neither confirm nor debunk that claim. It’s probably not true. But, make no mistake about it, it could be!)

More likely he’s trying like hell to change his nickname from Cancún Cruz to Canker Cruz, because people have always known he’s a mouth sore, but the Cancún thing was simply beyond the pale. 

That’s unlikely to work, but he’ll do his best.

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