New tell-all claims Melania was mostly blasé about Trump's affairs: 'I know who I married'

Details from Stephanie Winston Wolkoff’s upcoming Melania Trump tell-all, Melania and Me, are leaking out like whatever that viscous nightmare fluid under Don Jr.’s eye was the other night.

Seriously, what the fuck was that?

Writing for Vanity Fair, Emily Jane Fox dishes some of the details.

Spoiler alert: These people are simply awful.

First of all, Melania appears to be just as enthusiastic about the sport of bus-tossing (er, under-the-bus tossing?) as the rest of this paella of pusillanimous pissants.

In February of 2019, I reported on the fallout—that the White House tried to throw Wolkoff under the bus by making it appear that she had taken millions of dollars from the inaugural funds to line her own gilded pockets. This portrayal fit right into the grifter narrative so many in Trumpworld had perpetuated by actually grifting that most people believed it without hesitation. The truth, as Wolkoff lays out, was that there wasn’t a grift on her part, and she was told privately that her firing from the White House had nothing to do with inaugural spending, despite reports to the contrary. Melania did nothing to defend her at the time, and after more than a year of feeling like there was something amiss with the way the inaugural funds were spent and the events were planned, Wolkoff started to protect herself. Since then, she has participated in investigations into inaugural spending.

So stay tuned for that!

But since it’s Schaden-Friday once again, let’s get to the really juicy stuff:



Take a conversation between Wolkoff and Melania about that infamous green jacket with “I really don’t care, do u?” scribbled across the back when the first lady toured a detention center holding children who had been separated from their parents at the U.S. border. Melania shrugged off the public firestorm around the sartorial choice—a common theme throughout the book. “I’m driving liberals crazy,” she told Wolkoff, according to the book. “You know what? They deserve it.” She added that people “connect stuff to my clothes” and that she wears what she wears “because I like it.”

So nice that she enjoyed the profound pain Americans felt at seeing their government detain children and rip them away from their parents. I guess if you’re some kind of insensate reptile mother, that kind of thing doesn’t bother you.

“Melania,” she writes, “Did. Not. Care.” Melania doesn’t dish much on her marriage in the book because, as Wolkoff writes, “Any intimate question about her marriage was deflected by her seamlessly turning the chat back to what was going on with my husband, my kids, and my career, about which she was endlessly fascinated.” The same went for questions about her husband’s alleged affairs or payments made to women in the run-up to the election. She’d brush off his “grab ‘em by the pussy” tape or settlements to Stormy Daniels with, “It’s politics.” Over the years, according to the book, when Wolkoff would express her concern, Melania would matter-of-factly respond, “I know who I married.”

Oh, and Ivanka! Sweet, naive, doe-eyed, complicit, evil-facilitating Ivanka. Yeah, Melania hates her. Apparently, Melania referred to the president’s fave daughter as “Princess” and tried to make sure she was seated out of sight of the cameras during the inauguration.

Also, this:

Once they were in the White House, Wolkoff writes that Ivanka and her staff wrote to her and Melania about cohosting several events that were traditionally hosted by just the first lady. “Are you kidding me?” Melania asked Wolkoff about Ivanka’s request to collaborate for International Women’s Day. “Seriously? I’m not co-hosting.” For the annual luncheon held for the governors’ spouses that Ivanka wanted in on, Melania said, “We need to let her know that I know this is a First Lady event done every year…OMG. They just want to take credit for it.” After hearing that Ivanka had worn a KaufmanFranco dress for an event, Melania said, “Forget it.” According to Wolkoff, “If Ivanka was dressed by a designer, Melania would cross them off her list.” At one point, Melania apparently warned Wolkoff in a text: “You know how they are snakes.”

Oh, and remember how Melania delayed her move to Washington because of “Barron”? Remember how much that cost us all in Secret Service outlays? Yeah, well, there was at least one other reason, apparently. 

According to the book, Melania told Wolkoff that she would not move to D.C. until the shower and toilet in the White House residence had been replaced. She painted her office and closet bright pink, and she added a glam room to the residence in which she could have her hair and makeup done. She would pay no mind to wearing American designers, as Michelle Obama had. If Melania had her sights set on wearing Karl Lagerfeld, she wore Karl Lagerfeld.

Melania Trump is a Trump. She’s not innocent. Let’s not kid ourselves.

Her variety of evil simply has its own haute couture panache.

This guy is a natural. Sometimes I laugh so hard I cry.” — Bette Midler on Aldous J. Pennyfarthing, via Twitter. Find out what made dear Bette break up. Dear Fcking Lunatic: 101 Obscenely Rude Letters to Donald Trump and its boffo sequels Dear Prsident A**clown: 101 More Rude Letters to Donald Trump and Dear F*cking Moron: 101 More Letters to Donald Trump by Aldous J. Pennyfarthing are now available for a song! Click those links, yo!