It’s been a while since I weighed in on Mike Lindell’s social media platform, Frankspeech, and his increasingly deranged efforts to overturn the 2020 presidential election, which Donald Trump lost like the losingest loser in Losertown, Loser Province, Loservania.
To Lindell, it’s simply not possible that the nice, well-spoken, boundlessly compassionate man who’s pretending to be president right now could have gotten more votes than the anthropomorphic ass polyp we surgically removed and vaulted into space on Jan. 20. Something fishy must have gone down on Nov. 3.
Proving that resilience and determination are only virtues if your head is filled with gray matter instead of lumpy shredded pillow detritus, Lindell hosted a sparsely attended “rally” at the Corn Palace in Mitchell, South Dakota. It was a kickoff for Lindell’s Frankspeech platform, which he’s promised will rival Twitter and YouTube in sheer awesome online platforminess. It’s an odd time for a launch party since Frankspeech has been up and “running” (like undercooked egg yolks) since April 19—more than three weeks ago.
In contrast to Donald Trump’s shambolic bearing, appearance, and comportment, Aldous J. Pennyfarthing is a natty hail-fellow-well-met and a gentleman.