To be fair, no one can scrub away the Trump stink. No one. Including me. It’s like a raccoon has been living in your car for the past four years. That car is fucked. Let’s just see if we can get it started, stick our heads out the window as we drive, and try to enjoy the Christmas lights as we look for a nice, quiet fishing hole to drive into.

Of course, as an MSNBC host, Nicolle Wallace, a former Republican who is perhaps best known as John McCain’s 2008 Palin wrangler (and who later confessed she didn’t vote for the ticket she’d worked for), has been one of Donald Trump’s fiercest critics. And she’s over playing nice with the ocher arschloch’s enablers.

Here she was yesterday with former New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie, who has been one of Trump’s biggest allies … and the guy Trump is most likely to picture as a giant cheeseburger whenever he’s hungry.



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WALLACE: “I know you said in an interview with Hugh Hewitt that you haven’t ruled out a run in 2024. I don’t remember you coming out and forcefully pushing back against Donald Trump’s comments on the Access Hollywood tape. You didn’t defend him, but you didn’t withdraw your support. I didn’t hear you after he called African nations bleep-hole nations. I didn’t hear you distance yourself from this president at any point until the target for his ire and lawlessness was the democracy you haven’t ruled out leading in four years. Are you simply making a political calculation that you can clean the Trump stink off you faster than Marco Rubio or some of your other competitors?”

And here was Christie’s response, via Yahoo! News:

“No, I’m not, Nicolle, and in fact, at the end of it, I made a decision back in 2016 that the choice between Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton was one where I was with Donald Trump. I don’t regret that choice, I still don’t regret it today. I wouldn’t vote for Hillary Clinton today, if that choice were to be made. So, uh, that’s not what I’m saying. But what I am saying is that, you know, I evaluate these things one at a time,” Christie said.

Uh huh. Hey, Chris! You also chose that know-nothing gelatinous cube over Joe Biden, and worked to get it reelected. So, whatevs.

“I was a very vocal critic of what he had to say about Jeff Sessions, even though I think Jeff Sessions was a horribly flawed attorney general. But I don’t think you can treat somebody like that. I’ve been very open and critical about the president and the way he’s spoken about Chris Wray, and Chris Wray’s leadership of the FBI, which I think has been so much better than what Jim Comey did, and really exemplary. Chris Wray has shown the kind of integrity that he has in leading the FBI,” Christie said. “And so there were plenty of times where I’ve spoken, believe me, because I’ve gotten the angry phone calls from people in the White House, I’m telling you that they didn’t like what I said.”

Oh, he stood up for Jeff Sessions and Chris Wray, huh? Bravo! Were they locked in cages at the border with those innocent immigrant kids? If not, this isn’t exactly a profile in courage.

Chris Christie running in 2024 against Donald Trump would be interesting, given the bootlicking obeisance he engaged in after ending his own presidential run in 2016. But, hey, maybe he’ll win and force Trump to carry his water. That seems really likely.

Personally, the only scenario in which I can see Christie leading is as the frontman in a Human Centipede scenario. And that’s only if there are no Trumps in the room to genuflect to.

So, no, he can’t clean the Trump stink off him. Not now, not in four years, not ever.

That shit is permanent, yo.

This guy is a natural. Sometimes I laugh so hard I cry.” — Bette Midler on Aldous J. Pennyfarthing, via Twitter. The first history of the Trump Error is complete! Goodbye, Asshat: 101 Farewell Letters to Donald Trump is hot off the presses! Along with Dear Fcking Lunatic: 101 Obscenely Rude Letters to Donald Trump, Dear Prsident A**clown: 101 More Rude Letters to Donald Trump and Dear F*cking Moron: 101 More Letters to Donald Trump, you’ll see the Trump years from a hilarious new perspective. Click those links, yo!

  • December 23, 2020