Mr President, what did you expect?
Well, the silly old bastard finally went and did it. For almost the last 20 months now, El Pendejo Presidente has been blundering around in the Democracy China Shoppe, in his Ronald McDonald shoes, and waving his catchers mitt clad hands around, and he finally broke the merchandise. And now he's uber pissed that one of the clerks is running back to tell the manager.
Please tell me Dumblefutz, exactly what did you expect? I'm not in the slightest bit surprised that we have reached this point. My only question is, “What took so goddamned long?” You have engineered your entire life to lead up to this precise moment, but now you're surprised when the boomerang comes whistling back and smotes you right in the chops?
People have been saying for years now that you live in a fantasy universe, but right now, welcome to your real world, that you and you alone created. You protected yourself in your business by surrounding yourself by endless rings of slavish sycophants, but that wasn't enough for you. You had to set up a work atmosphere of double dealing, backbiting, and utter betrayal. Hell man, your favorite contestant in The Apprentice was freakin' Omarosa fer Gods sake!
And you carried the same principle over into your train wreck of a Presidential campaign. You surrounded yourself at the top with your political ignoramus children, and then And then, because nobody with two firing neurons would come and work for you, you basically took anything with a pulse into your campaign, and promptly set them to fighting with each other, like Nero watching the gladiators in the Coliseum. This complete lack of political awareness, and the moral absence of your staff led directly to the Mueller investigation that threatens your Presidency.
What the hell, may as well go for the hat trick, eh? Quick biology lesson sir. Even a bird, which can soar, only has two wings. How many damn wings do you need in a White house? Sweet weeping Jesus, you've had the Trump wing, the Jervanka wing, the Bannon wing, the Priebus wing, and later the Kelly wing! They're all flapping in different directions, at totally different times, and you wonder why your dodo ass keeps crashing back into the lake.
But where you really fornicated the canine was in your casual, California laid back attitude towards staffing your White House. Incoming Presidents spend literally months, starting even before the election, in finding the best candidates, not only in terms of qualifications, but in terms of a sense of unite of purpose with the new President to fill their cabinet and top level staff. And the funny thing is, you actually had that, Chris Christie was doing a professional job of vetting prospective team members, but his criteria was eliminating the kind of sleazy bottom feeders you wanted to surround yourself with, so you chucked him over the side, and installed the Human Fleet Enema, Mike Pence to open the floodgates. And ended up with two legged Port-O-Sans like Rob Porter, Scott Pruitt, and Sebastian Gorka, among others.
But you made two mistakes, which are turning out to be fatal to your catch-as-catch-can administration. First, in your desire to run the United States like the same mom-and-pop-bodega that your company was, you understaffed. Part of this may have been simply because nobody who wanted a post Trump career in Washington would touch you with fire tongs. But it was still a fatal error. Simply because the more eyes you have in a place, the greater the chance that somebody “Sees something, and then says something.” Running the west wing on a skeleton crew made it possible for this evil cabal now bedeviling you to work easier, not requiring so man co-conspirators, and with fewer watchful eyes to have to look over their shoulders for.
But the real kill shot was your original management strategy.The White House is not the New York real estate business, and you aren't the only game in town. Unlike New York, where your thumbs down could ruin an aspiring career, you're only going to be around Washington DC for a maximum of 8 years, and these staffers are going to have other administrations to hook on to long after you're gone. In your business, you hired people, and turned them loose on each other to benefit your agenda. Bt in Washington DC, while these staffers may pay lip service to, and in some cases even believe in your agenda, these people also have their own While your lame brained constituents may thrill at the thought of you teetering atop the Washington monument, clad in a toga and stroking your violin while the capitol burns, these staffers are going to need functional government departments to work at once you slither back to the Big Apple. And they are damned if they're going to let a second rate shit kicker like you ruin this for them.
“What goes around, comes around.” Your management style may have worked like a charm back in New York, where your agenda may have been the only one that mattered in your own little feifdom, but you're now surrounded by a whole town full of people with their own agendas, and in this forest, you are a true babe in a den of wolves. And now, you're finding that not all of those wolves have maternal instincts. Carry on sucker.
The wait is over! Volume two of the trilogy, President Evil II: A Clodwork Orange is now available. Amazon is whining about me crashing their site, but the hell with them, I ain't in this for their health. You can also find volume one, President Evil as well. And fear not, work on volume three is just beginning.
Cross posted on Politizoom.com