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Moscow Mitch suggests he may bail on Republican National Convention

2 min read

Ooooh, Grampa Rage Diapers is not gonna like this one bit.

Earlier today, Moscow Mitch — and, yes, he is still and forever Moscow Mitch — was asked whether he’s planning on attending the Republican National Convention in Florida next month in light of the recent spike in COVID-19 cases in the state.



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MCCONNELL: “Well, I think the convention is a challenging situation, and a number of my colleagues have announced that they’re not going to attend, and we’ll have to wait and see how things look in late August to determine whether or not you can safely convene that many people.”


What if the president of the United States held a party and no one came? Have the big man’s boot soles become a little less appetizing for some reason?

Meanwhile, several concerned Jacksonville residents have filed a lawsuit in an effort to stop the convention.


The lawsuit, brought by Jacksonville residents who live and work near VyStar Veterans Memorial Arena, where the convention is set to be held, argue that the convention will be a “nuisance injurious to the health, welfare and property rights” of the plaintiffs and “result in massive spread of Covid-19 among the persons in attendance and throughout the City of Jacksonville and Northeast Florida.”
The plaintiffs point to President Donald Trump’s non-socially distanced Tulsa rally and repeated refusal to wear a mask or practice social distancing to illustrate why the convention would pose a public health risk, alleging that Trump and Vice President Mike Pence’s “standard practice” is to “eschew safe Covid-19 practices.”

Well, if Mitch doesn’t show, at least they’ll be marginally less likely to contract salmonella. But he is the Senate majority leader, after all. His absence would be both conspicuous and deeply embarrassing. But on the bright side, Trump would absolutely lose his shit. So that would be massively entertaining, anyway.

“This guy is a natural. Sometimes I laugh so hard I cry.” — Bette Midler on Aldous J. Pennyfarthing, via Twitter. Find out what made dear Bette break up. Dear Fcking Lunatic: 101 Obscenely Rude Letters to Donald Trump and its boffo sequels Dear Prsident A**clown: 101 More Rude Letters to Donald Trump and Dear F*cking Moron: 101 More Letters to Donald Trump by Aldous J. Pennyfarthing are now available for a song! Click those links, yo!

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