Last updated on August 23, 2020
Oh, check out the above photo. Mitt Romney looks like such a lapdog you might be justifiably worried that Mitt Romney is about to strap Mitt Romney to the roof of Mitt Romney’s car.
But sometime after Donald Trump invited Romney to dinner so he could humiliate him by scuttling his bid for a cabinet post, Romney discovered that sucking up to Trump is not nearly as fun — or productive — as it might seem.
And now, Romney is conspicuously unencumbered by fucks.
The latest? He’s stating the obvious truth that every Democrat and Republican can clearly see, but which only Democrats, disaffected Republicans, and Romney dare acknowledge — Donald Trump done fucked up bigly, ‘cos he is a special kind of stupid.
“Short term, I think it’s fair to say we really have not distinguished ourselves in a positive way by how we responded to the crisis when it was upon us,” Romney said in a video interview with the Sutherland Institute. “And the proof of the pudding of that is simply that we have 5 percent of the world’s population but 25 percent of the world’s deaths due to covid-19.”“And there’s no way to spin that in a positive light,” Romney said.
Say, who won the 2012 election again? Never mind. I’m sure Donald Trump is about to remind me.
Of course, this kind of criticism isn’t new for Romney. As one of the few reality-based Republicans left, he’s found Trump’s COVID response wanting for some time. You might even call it a clusterfuck, even if Romney himself eschews such indelicate descriptors.
ROMNEY: “I understand that politicians are going to frame data in a way that’s most positive politically. Of course, I don’t expect that from admirals. But yesterday you celebrated that we had done more tests and more tests per capita even than South Korea. But you ignored the fact that they accomplished theirs at the beginning of the outbreak while we treaded water during February and March, and as a result, by March 6 the U.S. had completed just 2,000 tests whereas South Korea had conducted more than 140,000 tests. So partially as a result of that they have 256 deaths and we have almost 80,000 deaths. I find our testing record nothing to celebrate whatsoever. The fact is their test numbers are going down, down, down, down now because they don’t have the kind of outbreak we have. Ours are going up, up, up as they have to. I think that’s an important lesson for us as we think about the future.”
As you know, our numbers are still going up, up, up — and Donald Trump’s only answer is to destroy the U.S. Postal Service and lie his adobe ass off.
In his Friday interview, Romney said the administration did not “ring all the alarm bells” early on in the pandemic. He faulted officials for failing to put the federal government in charge of distributing personal protective equipment, manufacturing essential supplies and setting guidelines for businesses.
“From the outset, there was a tendency on the part of the administration to dismiss covid-19 as a threat, not to consider how serious it could become,” he said. “The health impact of covid-19 on our country and our response to it was really very, very disappointing.”
Well said, Mitt.
I’d like to invite ol’ Mitt over for a beer, a blunt, and a stiff cup of green tea. And it’s safe to do that because I know he’ll never accept. Which is for the best, really. I mean, seriously. He strapped a dog to the roof of his fucking car.
“This guy is a natural. Sometimes I laugh so hard I cry.” — Bette Midler on Aldous J. Pennyfarthing, via Twitter. Find out what made dear Bette break up. Dear Fcking Lunatic: 101 Obscenely Rude Letters to Donald Trump and its boffo sequels Dear Prsident A**clown and Dear F*cking Moron by Aldous J. Pennyfarthing are now available for a song! And you can now preorder the final (please, God) book in the series, Goodbye, Asshat: 101 Farewell Letters to Donald Trump. Click those links, yo!
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