Milo Yiannopoulos named grand marshal for 'straight pride' parade

No, Milo Yiannopoulos is not straight, but this parade is really more about being proud of being an asshole, and he definitely qualifies on that score.

The Hill:

Right-wing provocateur Milo Yiannopoulos has been named the grand marshal for Boston’s “Straight Pride” parade.

“I might technically be a sequined and perfectly coiffed friend of Dorothy’s, but I’ve spent my entire career advocating for the rights of America’s most brutally repressed identity — straight people — so I know a thing or two about discrimination,” Yiannopoulos said in a statement released by the group.

“This parade is a gift to anyone, male or female, black or white—gay and transgender allies, too!—who will stand with us and celebrate the wonder and the majesty of God’s own heterosexuality. Men, bring your most toxic selves. Women, prepare to burn your briefcases! Because it’s great to be straight, and we’re not apologizing for it any more. We’re Here, Not Queer.”

Speaking just for myself, I’m a straight male and I’ve never been asked to apologize for it, nor have I ever felt “brutally repressed” because of my sexual orientation. Literally, not once.

Here’s a tip: If you do feel persecuted for being straight, you’re doing it wrong. It just means you’re being a total dick about your orientation. What’s being “brutally repressed” in you is not your heterosexuality, it’s your assholery. I can pretty much guarantee it.

Why is Milo doing this? Asshole solidarity — that’s why. There can be no other explanation.

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