To say that Donald Trump is a ig is to give offense to fine and upstanding porkers the world over. After all, at least swine don’t try to pretend that they’re Arabian stallions while they’re wallowing around in the mud.

If this isn’t a saying in New York, it should be, “To meet Donald Trump is to wish that you had never met Donald Trump.” To all appearances, Donald Trump has been to New York what the Cubs were to Chicago, a lovable loser. Nobody took his claims to wealth, sexual prowess, or business acumen seriously. He was like the loud uncle at Thanksgiving that you get wasted watching football, so that he sleeps through dinner.

All of which suited Donald Trump just fine. Mainly because it was the perfect cover. After all, who would ever think that a guy you have to remind to zip up before he leaves the bathroom could be a criminal mastermind. When I think of Donald Trump, I think of Kevin Spacey’s character in “The Usual Suspects.” Nobody would suspect a wimp lke Spacey’s character of ever being the horrific and vengeful Kaiser Soze. 

Trump got away with his myriad schemes in New York for 35 years mainly because he just wasn’t worth the trouble. He ran a mom and pop bodega operation, and as long as he was discreet enough to provide at least some cover to his chicanery, he just wasn’t worth the trouble.

Not anymore. And it was Trump’s unrelenting ego and narcissism that did him in. 
The problem for Trump with the Mueller investigation isn’t so much Russia, as it is the fact that the investigation gave the agents and prosecutors access to man other things that might not touch directly on Russia, but sure did make for interesting bedtime reading on other subjects.

The incoming Attorney General for the state of New York has quite the laundry list of sins that she can’t wait to see if she can’t wrap Trump up in like a dead fish in yesterday’s newspaper. I’m not so sure that she actually has the authority to investigate the Trump Tower meeting, but I admire her spirit. But there are a host of other shenanigans, such as money laundering, bank fraud, wire fraud, and state income tax evasion that should keep her quite busy for the foreseeable future.

The thing to remember is that a pardon can’t save Trump from retribution, not even on the federal level. Forget the issue of whether a President can pardon himself, it doesn’t matter. While Trump may be able to make his own criminal negligence go away, his company is a different matter. You can’t pardon a company, and the Trump organization is the vehicle that Trump used for most of his nefarious schemes. It is also his sole source of wealth.

Trump’s favorite excuse for not releasing his tax returns is that they are perpetually “under audit.” True or not, Trump’s assertion that his annual tax return is the size of the greater Manhattan white pages only indicates just how intricately his personal wealth is interlinked with his business entities.Which can kill him. If he is found guilty of tax fraud, or money laundering, or bank fraud, prison is the least of his worries. The penalties, back payments, and interest could bankrupt the company.  Knowing the endless avarice of Trump, and his belief in his own criminal brilliance, there are plenty of crimes to find that are well short of any statute of limitations come January of 2021. And if a Democrat wins the White Hose, I don’t see the new Attorney General having serious qualms about unleashing the justice department dofs of war. And call me silly, but I don’t think that Allen Weisselberg is too crazy about modeling an orange jumpsuit to protect Trump.

And the state is even worse for Trump. First of all, Trump can’t pardon himself from criminal prosecution on state charges. But more importantly, criminal charges may again be the least of his worries. Thanks to incredible journalism, the state of New York is now undertaking unraveling all of the shabbily hidden “gifts” that Trump and his siblings received from their parents. If those are found to have been made in a way that sheltered them from legitimate taxes, I heard one estimate that the Trump’s may owe in excess of $150 million in back taxes, interest, and fines. And that’s personal money we’re talking about, not company funds. 

Trump’s real problem, whether state of federal, is his rather convoluted definition of “wealth.” He has proudly proclaimed himself the :king of debt,” and he wants this to be how America is great again. Trump is right. He doesn’t actually own Trump Force One, it belongs to a corporate spin off. Say Trump Tower is worth $$100 million. but if it’s leveraged by $80 million in mortgages and loan guarantees, its true value to Trump is $20 million. This is where the tax and other financial litigation kills Trump, if he’s hit with heavy enough fines and compensation, his assets won’t be enough to cover it all.

So yes, I want to see Trump’s mug shot, and a perp walk would let me die in ecstasy. But just as badly, I want to see Trump reduced to living in a third floor, cold water walk up in one of Jared’s lousy rent controlled buildings on the lower east side. If, that is, he doesn’t drag Klan Kushner right on down with him. And what I wouldn’t give to see Melania walk out of this with a new jacket that says “I married a sexist pig, and all I got was a lousy US passport.”  Mueller isn’t the only one “following the money.” And impeaching Trump allows him to be a martyr to his followers, Bankrupting Trump makes him a loser, and an inept one at that. Which one is worse? For Trump, I honestly believe the latter.

* A quick holiday reminder *
Copies of President Evil, and the sequel, President Evil II, A Clodwork Orange make perfect e-stocking stuffer gifts for people you really aren't all that interested in impressing. And what better time to get reacquainted with the roller coaster that was the 2016 election cycle than before the release of the final volume of the trilogy, President Evil III, All the Presidents Fen.

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