Melania can't stop whining about how hard her life is

Let’s see. When the Obamas were in the White House, Barack got attacked for wearing a tan suit and Michelle was brutally (and incessantly) mocked for, um, trying to convince schoolchildren to eat vegetables.

So some of this goes with the territory. But not if you’re Melania Trump, who thought her life would be nothing but Tiffany bracelets and Manhattan dinner parties until the day she discovered her husband’s purpling carcass slathered in McNugget sauces on his golden loo.

From The Daily Beast: 

When Hannity asked her to name the “hardest thing” she has dealt with while in the White House, she replied: “I would say the opportunists who are using my name or my family name to advance themselves—from comedians, to journalists, to performers, book writers.” “Does it hurt?” Hannity asked. “It doesn’t hurt,” the first lady responded. “The problem is they’re writing the history and it’s not correct.” Melania Trump also vowed to “do what is right and what I feel is right for the country and for the people” despite criticism from the media, though she did not offer any specifics on what exactly she was referring to, saying only that she aims to “stay true to myself” and “live a meaningful life every day.”


I really don’t care, do u?

And, hey! I wrote one of those books she was talking about! Make Melania cry by buying it. Details below.



Yo! Dear F*cking Lunatic: 101 Obscenely Rude Letters to Donald Trump by Aldous J. Pennyfarthing is now available at Amazon! Buy there (or at one of the other fine online retailers carrying it), or be square.


But wait, there’s more! The Fierce, Fabulous (and Mostly Fictional) Adventures of Mike Ponce, America’s First Gay Vice President is also available at Amazon! You can get two great political humor ebooks for less than the price of the coffee you’ll be spitting out on your tablet when you read them!