Imagine our beloved Rachel Maddow possessing the comedic chops of Kathy Griffin. Or Joy Behar and Whoopi Goldberg wielding not only outrage and hilarity, but also an encyclopedic command of the minutiae of the Mueller investigation.
If you imagination can conjure those, then you have a proximate idea of what it is like to listen to the Mueller She Wrote Podcast, a weekly spelunking into the ever expanding cavern of the Mueller investigation, delivered with wit, humor, verve and the seductive whiskey and cigarettes voice of host A.G. (she won’t reveal her full name to protect her FedGuv job) – interspersed with their oh so fun Girl From Ipanema bumper music.
It’s Saturday and A.G. is sitting around the table of a small, colorful room in her North Park home. With her are fellow stand-up comedians Jaleesa Johnson and Jordan Coburn. The windows and the furniture are covered in thick, bright curtains (courtesy of A.G.’s husband, she says), which keep the outside noise at bay. On the table, three round microphones stand tall on a green, felt cloth as the women get ready to speak for a few hours.
“I forgot to eat apples this morning,” says A.G., who prefers not to disclose her full name so as to protect her career in the executive branch of government. “They help you with the weird sounds your mouth makes.”…
…A.G. says she began nurturing the idea of an all-woman political podcast after watching a documentary about the Watergate scandal last October. At the same time, special counsel Robert Mueller had just indicted Paul Manafort, President Donald Trump’s former campaign chairman, along with top campaign aide Richard Gates.
“When Manafort and Gates were indicted, I thought that people would be interested in hearing about the Mueller investigation,” A.G. says. “I was surprised to learn that there wasn’t a show dedicated to the probe, so I created one.”…
…“The most challenging part… is having people take you seriously,” Johnson says. “[However,] content is power, and women need more power. I think a great podcast takes a unique perspective and, in a male-dominated industry, women are full of unique perspectives.”
I’m taking Jordan, A.G. and Jaleesa seriously.
But that doesn’t mean we can’t have a laugh.
Below is my transcription of a portion of their Feb. 17 podcast, Manafort, Stone and Cohen, Oh My, with A.G. discussing the RW conspiracy theory that someone in the Mueller investigation tipped off CNN about the impending raid of Roger Stone’s domicile:
A.G. ”On Wednesday we learned Roger Stone, fighting against the gag order, told the judge that Mueller should have to prove he didn’t leak the Stone indictment to the press before he was arrested. And then his magical lawyers who can’t file paper work properly presented evidence that actually showed the indictment was released after Stone was arrested, as it turns out though, it was released just moments before the arrest was carried out and the time was filled in a little bit later.
But Stone is beating this conspiracy drum that idiot right wingers, including Matthew fucking Whitaker, by the way, in his Congressional testimony, are trying to push, that CNN must have known about the arrest from Mueller ahead of time and are conspiring because they were outside of his house before the FBI knocked on his door.”
Jordan: “Or they listen to Mueller She Wrote.”
A.G. — “Look guys, just because you’re not smart enough to understand something doesn’t mean it’s a conspiracy theory. We knew Stone was getting arrested that day, we’re podcasters, we’re comedians. The Grand Jury met the day before , Stone himself said he was about to get arrested, and there was a sealed indictment on the D.C. docket the night before…we put two and two together guys.
I know I’ve said this before, but that’s what I think conspiracy theories are: someone just isn’t smart enough to understand something so it has to be a conspiracy.
Just because you can’t wrap your head around the concept of a round Earth doesn’t mean doesn’t mean the rest of us are fucking with you.”
And there is lots more gold like that in just about every episode of Mueller She Wrote.
Get their great show at Stitcher.com or wherever you get you podcasts. You can listen on your P.C. if you don’t have the App.
These Girls From Ipanema ain’t fuckin’ around.