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Marjorie Taylor Greene still isn't convinced the Capitol rioters were Trump supporters

3 min read

Wading into Marjorie Taylor Greene’s Twitter account is like walking into a virology lab in a Speedo to draw blood from the Ebola monkeys. If it’s my job, I’ll do it; but I’m going to need a Silkwood shower and a booster shot of something (and I’m not ruling out hemlock with a Wild Turkey chaser) after I’m done.

So, please, appreciate the lengths I went to to bring you this fat morsel of fucknuttery.

Long story short, MTG still isn’t convinced those were Trump supporters storming the Capitol because … something, something, something …

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— Marjorie Taylor Greene 🇺🇸 (@mtgreenee) February 9, 2021

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— Marjorie Taylor Greene 🇺🇸 (@mtgreenee) February 9, 2021

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What did she recently say about being allowed to believe things that weren’t true

Marjorie, I’m doing you a favor here: You are nuttier than the squirrel shit in your otherwise empty head. Stop believing this nonsense. I won’t allow it. There you go.

I mean, I suppose it’s possible a phalanx of cosplaying liberals donned the Trump gear they’ve been hiding in their basements, broke out the giant Trump flags that were gathering dust on their IKEA futons for the past four years, and started breaking windows because they were worried that real Trump supporters were far too placid and bookish to angrily march on the Capitol when Donald Trump told them to.

But I’m guessing … no.

It’s also safe to say these people were paying more attention to Trump’s bonkers theory that Mike Pence could unilaterally overturn the results of an election that he lost than they were to Republicans’ useless attempts to challenge a handful of states’ electoral slates.

Oh, and why would there be pipe bombs in front of both the DNC and RNC headquarters? Maybe because Trump kept calling Republicans who didn’t want to go along with his election theft traitors?

They were chanting “Hang Mike Pence,” after all—not “We’re just here to see Marjorie Taylor Greene object to Arizona’s electors! We’ll be quiet! Promise!”

So, yeah, nuts.

But then what else should we expect from this feckless Froot Loop?

”This guy is a natural. Sometimes I laugh so hard I cry.” — BETTE MIDLER on author ALDOUS J. PENNYFARTHING, via Twitter. Need a thorough Trump cleanse? Thanks to Goodbye, Asshat: 101 Farewell Letters to Donald Trump, Dear Fcking Lunatic, Dear Prsident A**clown and Dear F*cking Moron, you can purge the Trump years from your soul sans the existential dread. Only laughs from here on out. Click those links, yo!

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