Last updated on January 5, 2021
Is this like conservatives abandoning Twitter for Parler?
Actually, no. Sounds a bit more like people threatening to move to Canada if we pass “socialized” medicine. Because, uh, where the fuck are they gonna go for cheaper shit brought to you by workers who have been more cruelly exploited?
Seems that Walmart’s Twitter account responded to Sen. John Hawley’s declaration that he will object to the election results on January 6—a feckless gesture directed entirely toward an audience of one man and his tweetin’ toilet.
A call to boycott Walmart gained traction on social media after the retail giant “mistakenly” issued a tweet calling Republican Senator Josh Hawley a “sore loser” on Wednesday.
The angry protest against one of the nation's largest retailers came after a member of Walmart's social media team insulted Hawley after he tweeted his intention to object to the results of the presidential election when Congress meets on January 6 to count the votes of the Electoral College.
“I cannot vote to certify the electoral college results on January 6 without raising the fact that some states, particularly Pennsylvania, failed to follow their own state election laws,” Hawley, who is from Missouri, said in a statement posted to Twitter. “And I cannot vote to certify without pointing out the unprecedented effort of mega corporations, including Facebook and Twitter, to interfere in this election, in support of Joe Biden.”
Yeah, that’s all bullshit, and he knows it. And his little tantrum will do nothing but force his fellow congressfolks to stay late after school, to everyone’s eternal irritation and chagrin. But it will keep him viable as a 2024 presidential candidate. So that’s what that’s all about.
And then came the empty threats:
— Gabriel Whitley 🇺🇸 (@realgabewhitley) December 30, 2020
And even after Walmart issued an apology, the barbarians kept shouting:
— Kassie 🕊 (@KassandraKitson) December 30, 2020
Sure, Trump supporters. Boycott Walmart. Like you’re going to find Toby Keith-branded underpants for cheaper somehow.
Still, my favorite part about a #Boycott hashtag is when it gets highjacked by our side.
— Charlotte Clymer 🏳️🌈 (@cmclymer) December 30, 2020
— Bryan 🇺🇸 #WeVotedOutFascism (@swimmerbr78) December 30, 2020
— Judy Brinkman (@tinfoilasshat) December 30, 2020
So, yeah, I give this “boycott” about two days, or until Walmart slashes its price on jumbo tubs of Red Vines, whichever comes first.
Until then — MAGA! Unless, of course, Target runs out of TruckNutz. Because you can only go so far with such things. Am I right?
This guy is a natural. Sometimes I laugh so hard I cry.” — Bette Midler on Aldous J. Pennyfarthing, via Twitter. The first history of the Trump Error is complete! Goodbye, Asshat: 101 Farewell Letters to Donald Trump is hot off the presses! Along with Dear Fcking Lunatic: 101 Obscenely Rude Letters to Donald Trump, Dear Prsident A**clown: 101 More Rude Letters to Donald Trump and Dear F*cking Moron: 101 More Letters to Donald Trump, you’ll see the Trump years from a hilarious new perspective. Click those links, yo!
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