MAGA radio host compares Trump's kookaburra impeachment letter to Gettysburg Address

I’m sure you read Trump’s bonkers letter to Nancy Pelosi yesterday. It was like a bad literary acid trip. Halfway through I felt like plucking my eyeballs out with a Scout knife leather awl, soaking them in a bath of contact lens solution and Lestoil, and gingerly placing them back in my head — and not necessarily in the eye sockets, mind you.

It was 50 shades of explosive mind diarrhea, courtesy of the actual president of the United States.

So you’d think Trump fans would do everything they can to keep a lid on it. Well, if you think that, you don’t know Trump fans.

Yesterday on Lou Dobbs’ Cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs Hour, guest Mark Simone, a conservative New York radio host, said this:

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SIMONE: Everybody should read that letter … it is the Gettysburg Address of smear job false accusations. What a response; it’s a historical document.

Well, he kind of accidentally told the truth when he said Trump’s letter is a great example of smear job false accusations. But, for the record, he was defending Trump.

To be clear, I don’t want to live in the alternate reality that Republicans are marinating in these days, but their universe does appear to have better drugs. Not sure what, exactly. Maybe weed laced with bath salts laced with psychedelic toad venom laced with NASCAR fumes laced with Keystone Light?

Of course, if it will turn me into a gibbering twit, I’d prefer to just say no.

Give the gift of hateful anti-Trump sarcasm this Christmas! Dear Pr*sident A**clown: 101 More Rude Letters to Donald Trump by Aldous J. Pennyfarthing is now available. And if you still haven’t read Dear F*cking Lunatic: 101 Obscenely Rude Letters to Donald Trump and Dear F*cking Moron: 101 More Rude Letters to Donald Trump, what the heck are you waiting for? Reviewers have called these books “hysterically funny,” “cathartic,” and “laugh-out-loud” diversions from our temporary hell on Earth.